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In human psychology, rejection has created signals in our nervous system that are equivalent to pain. Naturally, we tend to avoid pain when possible because it represents imminent danger to our bodies, but the pain we experience in our minds is channeled differently.    When we were hunters and gatherers, being part of a tribe was essential to our survival. In our social collectives, certain people were better at certain things than others. Together, their collective strengths proved formidable against any natural enemies. In most cases, to be rejected from a tribe was a death sentence since it represented a risk of losing access to food or protection.    Therefore, it was historically in our best interest to do whatever it took to stay part of the tribe and avoid rejection.  So, in a society with more opportunities than ever before to improve the quality of our lives, why are we averse to experiences that may improve the quality of our lives?    It all starts with how schools operate and how failure is perceived as bad, while success in good grades should be sought after. Let’s examine how schools have warped our perception of failure.    Schools Taught Us To Fear Rejection & Failure    In school, we were taught from the get-go to always listen to our teachers, do what they tell us, and submit assignments on time. We were evaluated on our ability to learn through tests, projects, and presentations based on selected subject material.    In high school, we were graded using the traditional grading system: 90 to 100 is an A, 80 to 89 is a B, 70 to 79 is a C, 60 to 69 is a D, and anything below 60 is an F.  We were taught to avoid getting anything less than an A at all costs because it would represent a lack of understanding of the subject material.  These letters are slapped on our transcripts as if they are permanent representations of our ability to learn and achieve success, when the truth is that our ability to learn changes throughout our lives.    Let’s translate these grades to batting averages: 'A': 0.900 – 1.000 'B': 0.800 – 0.899 'C': 0.700 – 0.799 'D': 0.600 – 0.699 'F': 0.000 – 0.600   Does this scale transfer to sports? According to MLB, Willy Adames had the highest batting average of 0.571 in the 2023 baseball season. Josh Bell and three others clocked in at exactly 0.500. According to the traditional grading system, every major league baseball player would be a failure at hitting the ball. Nobody is even scoring in the 'D' range, which suggests one of two things:    Even the most athletic humans are not meant to play baseball, or  Our perception of the grading scale has skewed our ability to accept rejection and failure in real life .     Which conclusion are you drawing?  Something has to be off. After comparing the grading scale to major league baseball, how we view failure has likely been skewed by our childhood experiences. Therefore, it’s time to redefine what is considered a success, what is considered a failure, and how failures are learning experiences in the real world.    Reasons You Will Get Rejected    As we discovered in baseball, the most successful people have nowhere near a perfect batting average for success. It can be argued that the more successes we have in life, the more failures we have in conjunction with them. In sales, it is not uncommon to have a batting average of 0.05, or a 5% success rate. However, that success rate was achieved due to the numerous failures that preceded it to land the client that needed a product or service that the salesman was selling.    Was it all the salesman’s fault? It's highly unlikely; they were doing their part. There are always forces beyond a person's control that generate poor experiences. Let’s examine a few of the major forces in play.    Incomplete Information    When it comes to making decisions, we will never have perfect information. There will always be additional considerations that we leave out, either because we don’t know about them, they’re not on our minds, or we have a skewed perception of how certain factors play into our conclusions.    We all know that the best job candidates never get selected, but the most compliant candidates get selected. This is because job applications are not a test of skill and well, but rather, the ability to fit into the company mold.    When you represent yourself on paper, the viewer never gets to see the real you but rather a snapshot you’ve selected. You don’t know who’s viewing that document you created, but you hope it will resonate with them.     There could’ve been other experiences that you could not represent, and if they had known about them, they would have selected you over the candidate. However, in the real world, we only have enough time to consider the most important factors in our decision-making, which means we will always operate with incomplete information.    You Reminded Them of Someone They Don’t Like    This is one of the most unfortunate circumstances that is beyond our control. When you’re trying to sell yourself to somebody, you have no idea of the number of people that they’ve come across before you. You may accidentally have a look, way of doing things, or even something else about you that reminds them of somebody who wrote them the wrong way, and they’re automatically going to conclude that you’re gonna rub them the wrong way as well. Much like what we said with incomplete information, you have no idea you’re about to be blindsided by that hidden factor and face rejection.    Unfortunately, you can’t place everybody in the world, and trying to please everybody guarantees that you will please nobody. Therefore, if somebody rejects you because you reminded them of somebody they didn’t like, that’s on them, not you. It is almost guaranteed that you can find somebody else to sell yourself to and move on from this rejection.    Some Minor Thing You Were Subpar At Set Them Off    Imagine yourself giving a near-flawless presentation: your technology was working, your body language and phrasing were on point, and you had everybody leaning in and taking notes on what you had to offer. Everything goes well until somebody asks a question that completely blindsides you, and you’re unsure how to answer it.    That small thing that you were unable to do sets them off. Either the person you said strongly believed that you should’ve been able to answer that question, or they asked something you weren’t expecting and temporarily lost your stride. As a result, they believe that they have deflated and exposed you as a hack, and ultimately, they decided to reject you.    Deep down, you know you were legitimately selling a product or service to help the client's situation. You just had a moment, and whatever that moment did, it caused the phase with the client to go from working with you to working against you. Unfortunately, the client doesn’t know that that was strictly a one-off, and they perceive that it could be a pattern about you, so they reject you.    When this rejection happens, we can beat ourselves up immeasurably for it. We punish ourselves over the smallest mistakes when the problem isn’t that we made a minor error, but that somebody else’s interpretation of that error was grandiose. When errors like this happen, we need to remember that a reasonable interpretation of their meaning is what we should be reflecting on, not when people go off over the smallest little things.    The Timing Was Awful    It’s easy to believe that the timing will work around us if we have something valuable to offer the world. Unfortunately, reality shows that this relationship is reversed. There are times when our entries are too early or too late.    Picture your favorite band and its lead guitar player. Imagine the lead guitar player coming in four bars too early and stepping over the vocals. Their playing is flawless, hitting every note expressively, in tune, and with a tone that reflects the moment. However, because the timing was off, the interpretation of the passage is not beautiful and expressive but mindless and distasteful.    Unfortunately, the timing has to be right for us to have the highest probability of success in whatever we do. Suppose Steve Jobs tried to invent the Macintosh 10 years earlier. In that case, the hardware necessary to implement it might not have been available, and the project could’ve crashed dramatically differently than we have today. If the battle of Normandy had happened a day earlier or a day later, the consequences for the rest of the future would have been dramatically different as well.    Unfortunately, we sometimes get rejected because the timing is not right. We’re trying to communicate with somebody who is busy worrying about a loved one instead of how your solution affects their project. When this rejection happens, it’s always best to reflect and ask yourself when the best time to try again would be. Often, there is going to be a second chance.    Maybe They Had a Legitimate Reason Afterall    This is one of the hardest pills to swallow because we want to believe that whatever we have to provide for society is good enough. We work on our craft and try to dial in every little aspect of it, but at the end of the day, it just isn’t good enough. Sometimes, we must accept that what we have to provide is not as good as an alternative. We don’t need complete information to determine the best solution. We can use the 80:20 Principle to determine that 20% of the information will give us 80% of the knowledge to make a decision.    This type of rejection is rarely fatal. It is simply the result of us putting our best out there only to be turned away, ignored, or brutally mocked. All the training in the world cannot change the fact that a singer is tone-deaf.    Tactics To Fight Through Rejection    Fighting through rejection is easier than we think, once we have enough experience dealing with it and enough tools in our toolbox to challenge the meaning behind the rejection. The number one thing to remember when dealing with rejection is that you have options. Even if the rejection becomes glaring compared to the other options available, the heat from the moment will subside, and the other options will appear.    Here are several general tactics to try when fighting through rejection:    Try It A Different Way or With Something Else    One of the best ways to overcome rejection is to try different outlets. This could involve trying to sell somebody else, auditioning for a different group, becoming part of a different friend circle, or just taking your talents and personality elsewhere where they will be appreciated and celebrated.      Unfortunately, we need to recognize that we are not right for everybody, and so our goal should not be to try to get everybody on our side, but to find the right people who will help us be the best versions of ourselves, while celebrating our progress along the way.    If we encounter a series of rejections and failures, we can address them using the different techniques described below.    Keep A Victory & A Lessons Learned Log    Keeping a log of victories and lessons learned can help us amplify the actions that are producing results while redirecting the actions that aren’t hitting the mark. This simply boils down to nothing more than positive and negative feedback, where the positive feedback ensures that what we’re doing is right, and the negative feedback helps us make better decisions next time.    When we’re having a hard time, documenting these victories and lessons learned can help us see historical trends within ourselves. We know we can succeed through our victories and make the breakthroughs we desire. Through our lessons learned, we remind ourselves that rejection is just part of the game, but we can always take something away from it to try a different angle on the same problem next time.    All in all, the log should not be kept to beat ourselves up over, but rather, extract the gems necessary that will help us provide the value that we seek to provide when expanding ourselves beyond our comfort zones.    Try Again Later    As we learned before, sometimes the timing was just off. The person you were trying to connect with was dealing with something that you had no idea about, so they couldn’t give you their full attention.    When this occurs, it’s best to try again at a time that you and the other person think is convenient. If you cannot schedule it together, you’ll need to determine whether it can wait or you should move on.   While perfect timing is not possible in the real world, there is a clear difference between good and bad timing. To know whether it’s good or bad timing, you must read the situation objectively and compare it against your experiences to decide whether the timing is good.    View Your Data In Terms of Absolutes Instead of Relatives    When reviewing past experiences, we can view them in two ways: an absolute, where we were victorious or not, or how victorious we were compared to other situations. With batting averages, it’s not important to have a super high batting average, but rather, to hit X amount of Home runs to be inducted into the Hall of Fame.    While the batting average can be important, as having a zero batting average will never lead to success, it is more important to determine the benchmark number.    For example, instead of saying that 5% of donors must give us money for this venture to succeed, say that we need $10 million to get the next seed funding round. This way, you’re not afraid of going through as many donors as possible to achieve your goal. You fixate on achieving the goal instead of evaluating your relative success. In these cases, it's better to get it done than perfect.   Learn To Reinterpret Your Rejection    Building off the lessons learned, sometimes we don’t have all the information we need to make the correct interpretation of why we were rejected. Sometimes, our egos get in the way, and we miss out on the things we truly need to change in order to get a better result next time. Likewise, we may not have known that this type of experience is common amongst all people, and so being rejected is actually more sign of progress than a failure.    When we have new knowledge on a problem, we should ask ourselves different questions that help us examine the results from a different angle. Oftentimes, we lead ourselves to false conclusions when we fail at something for the first time. However, with new data to compare our experiences against, as long as we are objective with ourselves, we have a high probability of making the right decisions for next time.    Therefore, when we keep feeling the sting of rejection from our efforts, it might be from the fact that we’re taking the stinging head-on instead of trying to step aside from it. Reflecting on old rejections and gaining new insights is often a key to making the breakthroughs we desire.    Read The Stories of Others    Even in the most unique situations, it is highly unlikely that you are the first person to try something. While people may not have done exactly what you want to try, they’ve likely tried to do something similar and experienced their successes and failures. Often, people document these stories because they want to share them with people to build credibility and connect with others who are doing the same thing as they are.    Thanks to the popularity of digital tools such as Google, ChatGPT, and Reddit, we can now find stories similar to our own to compare our experiences to what is written. Assuming everything written is honest, we can determine what to change and what to do as we continue to pursue our goals in full.    Keep Improving Yourself & Your Craft    One of the most important things is that we take responsibility for our craft at every step. While it is possible that what we have to offer is good enough and we have to work on the marketing or perception issues, it doesn’t hurt to continue building our skills for future ventures.  With technology disruption becoming more commonplace than ever before, the skills that we are masters of today might become meaningless in five years. Therefore, it’s important to keep up with the latest industry trends in our craft and inject our creativity to find new ways to serve clients that give us a competitive advantage against others trying to do the same things.    As we stated with ourselves earlier, and how our skills are sometimes not good enough, staying hungry and humble about how our skills fit in the world provides the fuel necessary to continue leveling up. When people see that we are improving and providing more offerings, they will want to go with us rather than go with somebody who thinks they will stay king of the mountain forever.    Even If You’re Doing Great, Keep Batting Away    One of the biggest takeaways from rejection is as follows: the more you face rejection, the better you will use it to your advantage.  Similar to riding a bike, playing guitar, or learning to throw the football, the more meaningful practice you get in, the more you’ll know how to maneuver random situations that will arise.    Rejection is not a game of relative success but of absolute numbers.  One of the most deceptive situations we can run into is starting strong, such as a batting average of 0.7, but we only swing the bat 10 times in that time.  As we increase from 10 to 100 swings, we go through trials and tribulations… only to hit 48 balls, which nosedives our batting average to 0.480.  If we only look at the relative metric, it can be demoralizing since it appears we're going downhill.   Likewise, if your batting average with sales, pitches, and auditions is high, but you only attempted once or twice, your results will unlikely reflect your desired success.  It is better to fail 96 auditions and score 4 roles than to fail 19 auditions and score only 1 role.  The 1:19 is a better relative ratio, but the 4:96 reflects four opportunities successfully seized, which may lead to future opportunities not reflected in the metric.   For more perspective on rejection, I strongly recommend watching 100 Days of Rejection . Can you get a 100-day streak, too?

Saturday, May 14th, 2016, at 2 p.m. I celebrated an extraordinary personal achievement. It felt like the long-awaited finish line.     After a long three years in which I worked the hardest assistantship ever, lost my first marriage, and ventured through the toughest academic gauntlet ever, I earned my Master’s Degree in Chemical Engineering.   Being a former business and environmental science major was a cakewalk compared to the technical rigor of this program. I spent countless hours devouring engineering problems. Many obstacles created an uphill battle transitioning into engineering. Against all odds, they became an echo of the past thanks to the many professors, library books, and resources, coupled with a mindset of constant improvement that triumphed in the end.  I was all set to go out there and… get a job?      Nahhhh.  I decided that I should wait.  I had just been through my own personal hells, and I wanted to spend my time during the summer doing things that got pushed by the wayside, such as rekindling old friendships, playing music, learning photography, and traveling across the country.      My professors and prospective employers, whom I had interviewed, assured me that there would be a job for me when I was ready—yes, when I was ready, on my time. They can wait, right?    After a lot of back-and-forth and a Facebook announcement that pushed me off the edge four months before, I bought a one-way plane ticket from Cleveland, Ohio, to Portland, Oregon, and the rest was history. I’ve got this in the bag.    I’d smack myself upside the head if I had a time machine.  But I suppose I had to learn the hard way, which is why I’m going to share with you some of the things I wish I had done before making a dramatic move that would make the personal hells that I’d just mentioned child’s play.  But first, here’s why I went into engineering.    A Master's Degree In Engineering Is Useful, If Only...    I enjoy engineering for its ample challenges and opportunities to apply creativity to solve technical problems under economic constraints. Engineering is a quantitatively demanding practice that enabled me to apply mathematical know-how to practical problems, which makes me an effective instructor today.      While I wasn’t inherently passionate about chemical engineering during college, I greatly enjoyed solving problems and finding a better way to do things, so I never took my engineering education for granted.     However, the opportunities I was presented with required me to be in that field, so I figured I’d pivot later into renewable energy or something related to that field. In my studies, I noticed many parallels between electrical, chemical, and mechanical engineering, so I figured I might as well go deep into one for now.    So, if I didn’t take the value of my education for granted, what blindsided me? It was the job prospects. I was so focused on mastering my craft that I didn’t learn how to acquire employment with my skills on my own. The department recruited employers who sought out people in our specific program because of our strong alumni network. But most of these employers were on the East Coast. I was now on the West Coast.   Throughout my academic career, I was told that engineers would always be needed and that my skills would be valuable to some employers. I saw my colleagues working for corporations all across the eastern and midwestern United States, so I figured—why not the West Coast? Surely, there will be something for me wherever I move, and the odds are in my favor.    Yes, but… not as much.    While I have a degree in a respectable field in which I could solve technical and business problems, it was impractical to apply where I lived.  There was much more demand for civil and electrical engineers in the Pacific Northwest than for chemical engineers.  I had the practical know-how, but because my skills didn’t align with the market, employers perceived my skillset to be risky, adding difficulty to the journey.   What the hell?! I thought employers wanted people who could solve problems that generated revenue, reduced operating costs, and mitigated risk.    Yes, but… it has to look that way on paper first.  This was a hard lesson on how perception is everything, even with technical professionals.  It was almost like being built for playing hockey and trying out for a basketball team by saying, “I’m an athlete, so I got this in the bag.”    For the first 12 months, I held 7 jobs that didn’t work out. None that I was fired from, but all that never offered enough hours, pay, or reason to care about my work. It felt like I was accepting whatever I could get just to have some money.   Between not having a vehicle, walking a mile to the bus stop each day, and not being with the right people who could help me, I felt myself digging into a hole I was unable to dig out of, and slipping into my mental despair.  Everything I had trained and preached in my personal development center in Syracuse was thrown into question.   However, one chance at a temp job turned out favorably. What started as solely a one-weekend assignment turned into a six-month stint during which I learned to set the bar for success. It wasn't in engineering directly, but it was a chance to apply my skills differently and prove they were transferable.  My manager immediately noticed I had a knack for improving systems and mingling with guests on the spot. Thanks to the casino's tipping system, I made close to what I should have been making as an entry-level engineer while having twice as much fun.    From that opportunity, I was promoted to be a barback during the busy days (Friday through Sunday) and a data analyst for the other two days.  However, a lucky connection pulled me away from it to be a lab engineer for a fuel testing facility, where I finally got started in my field nearly two years after graduation.   What I Would Have Done Differently Before Moving    A lot can be said for someone who wants to risk it all by uprooting and starting over to gain a new perspective after spending most of their life on one side of the country.  However, that’s not a license to neglect the responsibility that should have received my careful attention when committing to such a big move.    Unlike college, where most things were taken care of for me, I was now wildly on my own to ensure that I had my basic needs met.  I didn’t have a community where I could make instant friends, see the opportunities on full display, or have the chance to work with leading scientists and engineering researchers.  I was completely on my own for the long haul.    After reflection, I've distilled some aspects I would have done differently if I ever committed to packing up and moving to a completely different region all over again:    Research The Market    Admittedly, I approached the market with rose-tinted glasses, thinking my skills would be valuable anywhere I went. Even if the chemical engineering industry wasn’t as prominent as others, I should have connected with employers who did hire in the field early.    Unfortunately, when other people with better professional backgrounds move out that way, they will be better aligned with the market's needs. Even if the odds were stacked against me, I would’ve at least liked to have known that from the get-go to plan differently. Challenges are easier to conquer when you approach them realistically.   When you move somewhere, it is wise to figure out whether what you’re looking for is available where you’re moving. Most jazz musicians move to cities, so moving to a small town for work would not make sense unless there’s an exceptional market.    Connect With Professionals on LinkedIn    I knew that LinkedIn was a powerful tool for connecting with people, but I had no idea back in 2016 that you could use it to connect with people you don’t know. Unfortunately, I assumed it was a lot like Facebook but far more professional. These days, I know many friends who connect with people they haven’t met yet on LinkedIn simply because they’re working in the field or position that they admire.    Another part of me that made me hesitant to use LinkedIn was that I wasn’t sure if I was committed to moving out that way, so I thought I would burn many bridges if I decided against it. These days, when a relocation doesn’t happen, people are more understanding than ever before, so I should’ve just taken the risk anyway.    By connecting with professionals on LinkedIn, I know that I should not expect any business or opportunities from them if I were to do that. Still, it’s good to know who is who in an industry and an area because they may be connected to somebody else who could serve a more immediate purpose than what I’m looking for. If I had a chance to do it over, the minute I posted on Facebook that I was moved to the West Coast, I would’ve energized my LinkedIn and made it a priority to connect with people out there, no matter what.    Start MUCH Earlier    While it was refreshing to travel all across the East Coast and Midwest, I burned a lot of cash and time doing so, which would have been better spent securing employment so that I could do that down the road. Admittedly, I was scared to make such a big move to a side of the country I’d never even visited, so I was foolish in distracting myself.    As Tim Ferriss would say, I should’ve started immediately and corrected course along the way. After all, that is what I did when I moved to the West Coast in the late summer of 2016, so if I had started earlier, I would’ve known a lot more, which would’ve compounded more effectively.   Save Up More Before Moving    During my last year of graduate school, I was fortunate enough to have a graduate assistantship that paid for what I needed to live in Syracuse. Additionally, I had been saving money since my first marriage failed in anticipation of moving across the country.      However, it would have served me better not to play so many music shows during my last semester and spend more time flexing my entrepreneurial muscles to find more ways to make money.      Considered The Long-Term Implications    Every decision comes at a price.  The most vivid concept I learned in economics was opportunity cost — the value of the next best alternative foregone.  If I choose A, I must forgo B — end of story.  In my case: If I choose to move to Portland, Oregon, I will forgo moving to the Southeast United States, where my degree would have far more impact.    Of course, these realizations are in hindsight. I had no idea that I could potentially be giving up so much by moving to the West Coast in terms of economic opportunities and getting something else done faster. However, that’s the price I chose to pay at the end of the day to go to an area where I thought I could get a fresh start, and today, I’m at ease with my decision. After seven years, I can conclude that it was a brutal decision in the short term. In the long term, I no longer wonder if the West Coast is the best place for me, and I enjoy everything it offers.   In The End, I’m Glad I Gave My Best    There is no doubt that, despite being metaphorically punched in the face more times during my first year than I can count, my move to the West Coast was the best thing ever. I met many amazing people, married better, got my hands on better instruments and equipment, and can now make a life for my wife and me as we relocated to Southern California.    I learned many lessons from hitting the ground running in life by relocating. I could have learned these lessons now or later. While there is irony in writing on what I would have done differently by saying what comes next, I strongly believe in the value of first-hand experience with major failures to train us to make better decisions next time. However, there is value in heeding the advice of others once you’ve hit your threshold of failure to make better decisions in the future. I'm not discouraging anyone from doing what I did. I'm only encouraging them to do it more wisely than I did.   Should you pack up and do what I did — go for it!  There will be many epic people and adventures in your journey.  Just make sure you set yourself up properly and be patient.  Safe travels!

Without a doubt, we live in a society that craves easy, quick-fix solutions.  We are sold on the premise that if we get one thing straightened out, purchase one additional item, or talk to this one person, then by magic, our problems and worries will melt away as our lives change to live happily ever after.    Whether as children or fully grown adults, we’ve experienced these deceptive messages at every stage of life. Whether our goal is to ace our school exams or prepare our case to achieve the next big promotion, there’s always something pushed onto us as “the solution”—that is, the “this is it” type of proposition.    As students, we were sold on the importance of getting at least an ‘A,’ scoring in the top 3% on a standardized test, or achieving a lucrative award in sports or arts that led to scholarships. These distinctions were supposed to act as an exclusive key that opens one gate and acts as a passport to a better life.    Even if we didn’t achieve these awards on a bigger scale, this premise was disguised as the goal in mathematics when solving for x .  Our teachers assigned truckloads of problems where a generic recipe existed to guarantee success as long as we understood the process and its context.  All we had to do was apply it again, and again, …, and again.    While problem-solving strategies taught in math develop problem-solving confidence, they often miss the mark due to oversimplification.  Reality is full of dynamic intricacies, where solving for a solution to a single variable isn’t likely to resolve a real problem.  In some instances, focusing on a single objective is important, but the machine has so many moving parts that it should not be ignored to focus only on one.    Unfortunately, teenagers and young adults experience this mindset outside of schoolwork. Whether mastering an ultimate skateboard trick, clapping back at an insult from a peer, or posting one viral video, they are often caught in the trap of seeking one-trick gimmicks to hyperinflate their sense of importance and accomplishment.    Thinking that this approach stops disappearing in the workforce is a careless expression of naivety.  The worst bosses are often known for constantly seeking one-hit-wonder solutions because they think it’s easy (often at the expense of others).  Poor marketing techniques lean heavily on selling the gimmick in front of them as the ultimate solution that will bring the buyer joy for years.    Let’s think back to the solutions we were sold throughout our lives. Maybe it was a product such as a piece of sporting equipment, a hot guitar pedal, or the newest phone. In other instances, services such as a new and lucrative marketing strategy, a revolutionary health service, or even an app on our phones are promoted as real game changers.    Maybe we were sold on it recently, a few months ago, a year ago, or 5-10 years ago, but the real question remains — did it deliver on its promises, or does the problem lurk in the shadows?    The unfortunate truth is that in the overwhelming majority of cases, it fails to deliver.  Well, maybe it didn’t, but we swore it was supposed to do a lot more than it did.  Maybe it delivered on its true purpose.  But the old saying goes: As we conquer our problems, new ones will fill the void.      Suddenly, that new phone we bought needs a new set of wireless headphones for completeness. The app delivers minimally but requires in-app purchases to maximize its capacity.  Maybe the distortion pedal for our guitar needs to be paired with a compressor to scream.  That camera?  It needs this lens and filter to produce those dreamy pictures.    It never seems to end.  We find ourselves sucked into the void of chasing the milestone.  As we feel the chasm widen between our reality and the solution, we grow anxious and frantic that we’ll be stuck in this state forever.  How do we overcome this?  Simple Works Until It Doesn’t    K.I.S.S.  Keep it simple, silly.      We’ve all heard not to overcomplicate our problems in business and school, and this is fine wisdom for those who tend to spin their tires and overthink everything.  Professionals identify ways to separate the wheat from the chaff by simplifying problems with a few underlying assumptions about reality.    Injecting simplicity reduces the mental power required to digest a problem or accomplish a task.  In a world with numberless details, reducing our situations to a handful of important circumstances clarifies what details act as the big contenders in making decisions.    All things being equal, it becomes easier to achieve quality when we know we only have to do one thing rather than fifteen.  Rather than buy seven items, the convenience of purchasing one draws us towards that solution.  Why shop at five other smaller stores when that superstore has everything?    This is where we fall for the lull of simplicity, which gets us drunk on finding an easy solution.    One overarching principle of life we must abide by is that everything has balance — The Goldilocks Principle.  Deviations from the balance lead to more problems as follows:    If we aim to oversimplify, we miss out on important information to solve the problem accurately. Oversimplifying can also make problems boring by removing color and detail, making them appear dull.    However, if we get too complicated, we risk information overload and being overwhelmed by our circumstances. Overcomplication creates friction by making problems unmanageable, making it difficult to prioritize details, and creating information overload.    Therefore, we should aim for that sweet spot in each situation—one where we have enough information about our problems to solve them without getting lost in a thicket of details. With enough complexity, we prevent ourselves from falling for the one-solution mindset, while with enough simplification, we make the problem easier to digest and manage mentally.    Musicians Know Why The Groove Matters    As we look around us in bustling cities and nature, we notice the presence of repetitive cycles.  These grooves vary dramatically in length, from nanoseconds to the end of the universe.    Shorter grooves are usually everyday experiences we take for granted.  The sun rises in the east and sets in the west.  Our heart beats to a certain rhythm.  Traffic lights go from red to green, to yellow, then back to red again.  Birds fly from their nest and then return at the end of the day.    Longer grooves are much more gradual, and we tend not to notice them. The seasons changing throughout the year, the rhythm of a college semester, and growing up from children to adults before having children of our own are grooves that require far more time.    Of course, disruptions to any cycle can occur to cut it short or bypass certain stages. However, these are generally exceptions to the rule.    Musicians know that all songs have a groove to them.  No matter the genre, most songs have a generic pattern: Verse - Chorus - Verse - Chorus - Bridge - Chorus .  Of course, deviations from this pattern are also common, but this is what we usually expect.    The musical mix requires musicians to cover a wide swath of tones and pitches, entering at the right times and delivering rhythms ranging from simple to complex.  Have you ever seen a cover band where someone sticks out (and not in a good way)?  That’s because they’ve violated what makes for a good musical mix.    There are aspects of each groove that remain consistent, such as melodies, drum patterns, and lead guitar solos. There are also aspects that change to give each song its unique signature, such as chords, dynamics, fills, and more.    We can dissect parts of a great song into components, such as lyrics, melodies, horn sections, bass lines, rhythms, and much more.  However, unless these elements are iconic and popular in culture, they don’t mean much standing alone.  Combining these elements tactfully to full effect is much greater than the sum of the parts.    The synergy experienced from combining all of these elements cannot be replicated.  Even with cover bands that reverse engineer their tones and play to the original, the personalities of the instrumentalists and singers will add a small splash of uniqueness that distinguishes them.    Getting Into The Groove    The groove involves a lot of moving parts that change rapidly.  It can be difficult to pick where to start as everything spins around us, but here are some principles to guide us as we get into our grooves:    Pick A Place To Start    When we’re presented with tons of moving parts, selecting a single place to start can be overwhelming.  However, a pitfall we want to avoid is paralysis by analysis.    By selecting a starting point, we can acquire some momentum and quickly determine whether our choice was a good one. The goal is not to select the best starting point but one that will get the ball rolling.    If the starting point is a dead end, simply start somewhere else from the knowledge given.    Connect To Something Nearby    After we’ve latched on and picked a place to jump into the mix, our goal should be to connect the dots.  Nearby dots are easy, low-hanging fruit to make a connection.  Like starting points, it usually doesn’t matter how we connect the dots as long as we get moving.    The principle is similar to getting to know a new town. First, we find the best place to live. Then, we find suppliers that provide essentials such as groceries. Then, we connect ourselves to other shopping and business centers. Finally, we connect further with our town by filling in the rest of the gaps.    In our grooves, we want to get in the habit of making connections.  The first connection might be daunting, but after it’s achieved, the process gets easier.    Keep Connecting The Dots    After we’ve made our first successful connection, the goal is to keep it going.  We must keep connecting the dots to understand the groove and how everything changes over time.  To do that, we want to be curious with our questions.    How does A relate to B? How does B relate to C? Allowing our curiosity to drive the bus is the best way to connect everything together.    As we connect more and more, our momentum creates connections faster and faster until the bigger picture emerges before our eyes.    Master The Groove & Enjoy The Bigger Picture    As the dots are connected more and more, a picture emerges in which we have a better understanding of how everything gels together. The upfront investment of finding a starting point and connecting the dots pays off. This is where we enjoy the fruits of our labor. It's easy to get into the habit of never-ending tinkering, but ask yourself – does it need to change in this moment, or can I enjoy it?   Change It Up    Once we’ve mastered everything, we now hold the power to change it.  Using our influence, we can tweak little changes here and there that cause a chain reaction.    Not all changes are made equally, so we must be mindful of how we change things depending on the impact we wish to create. Understanding the initial groove and how it morphs over time becomes easier and easier.    An example is with musicians.  Drums may change their drum patterns to give a song a different feel mid-song and captivate the audience.  Singers might add a little bit of flair to certain words for emphasis.  The bassist might change their playing from straight 8ths to a more staggered feeling to feel punchier.    The changes don’t have to be dramatic, but they should be impactful by making subtle adjustments that transform the groove into something new and refreshing.    Embrace The Groove    Finding our groove at first is challenging. By nature, grooves appear complex and beautiful due to the countless contributions to the melting pot that make each groove unique. It's hard to jump in without knowing how things work. However, we don't have to jump into the groove. We can create one by starting small. Find a working starting point and connect the dots to embrace our grooves best. From there, we will understand the parts and how they work alone and with each other. In time, we will understand the bigger picture and be able to own and change the groove to fit us better as we move along.   What grooves have you been missing out on? Leave a comment below.

Mentoring is a crucial part of anyone's journey toward success, whether in their careers, entrepreneurial pursuits, or life. Teaching and learning are valuable benefits for both sides of these types of partnerships. We all enter seasons where we need a little bit of extra help, and we can obtain it in one of two ways:     We ask for it proactively because someone may have some experience. Someone may seek us out because they heard we are looking for someone like them.    My story focuses on the latter.  Even though it's a far less common occurrence, there will be times when someone reaches out to help us, which can appear to be a blessing at first glance. However, does a candidate mentor who reaches out to us considered self-qualified?  I will discuss a personal story below and talk about what happened.     PLEASE NOTE : I've changed the names of everyone involved in this story to protect their identities.  My Personal Story     I was suddenly laid off from my day job the week before Christmas.  I had been frantically trying to recover from being blindsided by reaching out to many people and passing my newly updated resume through several business networks in the Portland area.  My resume caught the attention of several hiring managers, but it also caught the attention of someone who enjoyed mentoring people. We'll call her *Krystal* .     Krystal reached out to me, letting me know she was a former industrial engineer who enjoyed helping people build their business skills.  She saw on my resume that I was a lifelong learning student in my summary and contacted me via email.  She invited me to a business leaders meeting and sponsored my admission to the event.     I walked into the event not knowing what to expect other than to find a person among a sea of business owners and leaders. I had only seen a portrait of her on LinkedIn, and from my experience as a photographer, I know that photos can be very misleading.     Instead of sifting through the crowd, I decided to start conversations with several business owners. Eventually, she found me in a crowd and invited me to sit with her husband at the table. Before the conference began, they asked me a lot of personal and professional questions, which I answered.     Before we knew it, the luncheon had begun, and the guest speakers were up to talk about some philanthropic initiatives in the Portland area. As I was watching the speaker, I caught a glimpse of her looking at me with the utmost disgust. My sixth sense was tingling, and I knew something was not right.     After the speakers were done, we continued our conversation. Her demeanor changed dramatically as her husband stepped away to meet with some other people. She abruptly stated, "You talk too much. You talk too much, and no one is going to want to hire you," with the most stone-cold face I had ever seen on a mentor.     "Excuse me?" I attempted to clarify, disgusted in my head by her remark, but decided to put on my best poker face to date.     She tried to cover up her abrupt remark by saying she was trying to help me.  The conversation became a blur from there as my amygdala hijack became more apparent.     "No, no," I said after shaking my head. "I don't think this is for me," I said, reinforcing my spidey senses.     "Wait, you said you're a lifelong learner, right?" she rebutted, trying to continue the conversation.     "I am," I retorted, "…but I'm not your doormat. We're done here."     I left the business conference with a modicum of composure, knowing I had just left what felt like a potentially toxic mentorship. Something in me knew that the setup wasn't justified, so I got out of there as fast as possible.     When I returned home to sort out the mess mentally, I received an email from her.  She abjectly apologized for how she came off and asked for a second chance to be my mentor.  My girlfriend (now wife) read my email to advise me on how to reply and said I should ask another mentor of mine.     After making rounds with some mentors, I emailed Krystal back, asking her what she would do better next time.  Almost as if she flipped a switch again, she said that when she mentors people, she prefers to be blunt and upfront, and as someone with a knack for lifelong learning, I should appreciate that.  She asked if I wanted to come back in March.     I. Rolled. My. Eyes. Hard.     Something wasn't clicking, and I knew that it was time to put an end to it.     I emailed back the following:     Dear Krystal,      As lifelong learners, we should be fully aware of the following truth:  Advice not asked for is criticism .      As someone who was new to this business circle you invited me to, my perception of the situation is that you invited me into an initiation of verbal hazing of my flaws upfront instead of finding ways to bring each other valuable services.      I have a series of mentors who are already available to tell me what I need to work on, and I don't need your snapshot of me to set the tone of the mentoring journey.      Since you like it bluntly, I'm going to abide by your preferences and state it: This isn't going to work out .  There are mentors out there who are right for me, and you're not one of them.  I wish you the best.      Respectfully,   Forrest Baird      I proceeded to block her on all social media and email fronts to prevent further amygdala hijacks.     Hindsight Is 20:20     This was one of the hardest declines I've ever had to execute.  As a student of lifelong learning, I enjoy reaching out to people.  It felt like the universe was throwing me a freebie when Krystal reached out to me, but it wasn't necessarily so.     This is not to say I was perfect in any regard of the story. From her perspective, maybe I talked a little too much. Maybe she felt dominated in the conversation. Maybe I could have looked past this, accepted responsibility, and worked to find the diamond in the rough within this potential mentoring opportunity.      However, when you live with a mindset of abundance, you know there are other people out there who can be amazing mentors.     It's not feasible to reconcile every relationship that falls apart.  We will not be everyone's favorite - even Mother Teresa and Gandhi have enemies.  Regardless, we must be careful with how we say no, but it is possible to say no and be in good standing with a rejected mentor.  If we do our due diligence and respectfully decline – if they don't like it, that's on them.     Now you may be thinking - the way you declined her was harsh!  It was more blunt than usual, but I did it within a given context.  Let's review some criteria to consider as we decline mentorship and determine whether if I did justice in my instance:     How To Decline Mentorship     Let me be upfront - engaging in actions that involve rejecting another party is never fun, but giving negative feedback is necessary to redirect ourselves toward opportunities that are better for us.  This goes for both parties.       Think about this briefly: If your brain didn't regulate your body temperature, would you still be alive?     When declining mentorship, here are a few elements to consider:     –1– Say No Upfront     One of the worst things you can do is drag your feet when you know the mentorship is not right for you.  In the words of Keanu Reeves, "When someone rejects you, they're doing you a favor because they're not wasting your time".  Do yourself a favor and reject them tactfully.  This will help redirect them to finding the mentee that's right for them.     –2– Let Them Know Why     Along with letting them know upfront, you should be honest about why you declined their offer.  You don't need to write an essay, but you should present a concise and clear reason for declining their mentorship offer, even if it's because you don't think your personality and theirs are a good match. If they cannot accept that you declined their help, they are not worthwhile mentors to begin with.    –3– Be Civil, Unless They Don't Get It     The goal is to decline tactfully.  However, there are times when they don't get it.  This could be because the potential mentor is very set in their ways or doesn't have high emotional intelligence.     During my story, I offered her a chance to make it better, but she decided to stick to her guns. I had to read the context of the situation and decline in a way that they get—blunt and forward. In general, being blunt should be a last resort.    –4– Be True To You     Are you someone who gets along with everyone you encounter, or are you rough around the edges?  Use your authenticity to your advantage.  I've seen hundreds of instances where someone uses an inauthentic persona, which comes back to haunt them.     –5– Remember There Are Options    It's easy to think that someone who reaches out to mentor you is a God-send, especially when they have a similar background.  However, many resources exist to help you match yourself with mentors for personal development, business, spiritual, or life. Finding a professional accountability partner is a great step in the right direction if you're in a good position. When you remember that there are options in this world, it becomes easier to say no to the things we feel are detrimental to us.    Mentoring Should Help Your Goals & Theirs     It's important to use our judgment wisely when dealing with people who may want to help us. They may have good intentions, but if their actions rub you the wrong way, then it may be best to reconsider whether continuing the relationship will be mutually beneficial. When we consider who we want to learn from, there can be hundreds of people willing to offer at any time, even if it's not obvious at first. We must consider our needs, the help offered, and whether the timing is right to engage in that mentorship. Only then can we potentially have a flourishing journey where both sides grow and achieve their goals.

We’ve all had moments in our lives when burning questions occupy our minds for far too long. These questions may be general and monumental, such as “What is my life’s purpose?” or they might be specific and inconsequential, such as “Why is my dog always happier than I?”    As these questions arise, we become excited and filled with wonder as we search for answers. Like a sweet-tooth driven kid in a candy store, our curiosity runs wild while shopping around for answers. The fountain of second-hand knowledge and experience is supplied from various sources, including books, friends, the Internet, and videos, to name a few.    With many credible resources, it is easy to become overwhelmed. When so many resources exist, selecting a starting point becomes as difficult as finding the answer. After all, everything is here to help... right?    Unfortunately, our journeys are not that cut and dry. It’s impossible to anticipate what we will encounter in our journeys.  When we transition from a comfortable starting point into an intellectual fog, the path once crystal clear becomes cloudier.   In a mental about-face, the path we once trusted suddenly becomes an unruly obstacle in our progress. We are left to wonder if our quest was nothing more than a façade and fantasy to separate us from our desired answers.      The Stoics know all too well that the obstacle is the way, but it’s difficult to leverage that mindset in the midst of trials without the right attitude and experiences.  Is it possible that we bought into a vision convoluted by the world's ways, or did we misjudge what to expect in our personal development journeys?   I'll attempt to light a few lamps by providing my personal experience, including what I’ve learned, and how I would advise anyone embarking on this journey to better equip themselves. These experiences are not meant to discourage, but rather, acknowledge that the world is not as rosy as we paint it to be.   The More I Saw, The Less I Knew    My personal development journey began in 2006. A few friends needed to go to the bookstore to look for something new to read on our way to the movies. I decided to tag along instead of waiting in the mall. While I enjoyed writing, I loathed reading with a passion and had no interest in browsing the bookshelves. Something about being forced to read a book for school repelled me from wanting to read. As I waited patiently for my friends and looked around the bookstore, a book on philosophy caught my eye. I decided to crack it open to see what it was about. Unfortunately, I do not remember the book's title, but the descriptions of the stories are vivid.   My favorite story involved the author being transformed into a fly and learning that although they didn’t perceive themselves as a fly, everybody else perceived them as such, so they were always swatted. The person was trying to return as a normal human being, but was unable to find a way and met his tragic end.   For the first time since elementary school, I was interested in reading a book, so I purchased it on our way out. I remember looking at the book cover from time to time during the movie. When I returned home, I cracked it open again and absorbed more stories like a sponge. One story led to another until I pivoted into the philosophy of world religions. From my personal studies, I discovered the parallels between the major religions and what they constituted as good and moral behaviors.    During my year off between high school and college, I maintained an appetite for reading books on philosophy, religion, psychology, and environmental issues. Whenever I had free time, I powered off my devices to crack open a good book, delving deeper into my personal studies until I went off to college to engage in more of my studies. I wish my high school had assigned these books to read instead of what the Common Core deemed necessary. Further Pivots   During my first year of college, I browsed the college bookstore to find some college apparel. While browsing, a lone rotary bookshelf held books by a single author, but one specifically caught my attention: The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell.    “There are laws behind leadership?” I thought to myself. I peered inside the book and mentally devoured the book line by line. It was as if common sense was manifested in written form, and I didn’t have to think about it too much to understand its implications.  The college housed a dedicated leadership program, which piqued my interest to get a head start.    From then on, I made personal development part of my education, even if it wasn’t in the college curriculum. I was adamant about ensuring that I understood people better as much as I continued my formal education in business and sciences. Even if it meant I had to train harder than everyone else and make more sacrifices, it was worth it. When One Answer Leads To More Questions    At first, I made great headway towards answering my initial questions.  Every answer I sought required work, but was achievable. My initial checklist of curiosities saw more checkmarks.  However, I never anticipated the complex rabbit hole of this journey. I was always about completion, as I dared to explore every nook and cranny to leave no stone unturned.    One of the first questions I pursued in personal development was figuring out why everyone aspired to be like one another instead of embracing uniqueness. Growing up in a small town in Western Pennsylvania exposed me to a more tribal culture than the one I experienced in the cities. As such, I found my initial experiences skewed compared to those of those who grew up in larger cities and had a more independent mindset.   I recognized that because small towns had fewer opportunities than larger cities, people were more likely to be more social and reach out to people around them. Their experiences moved mental roadblocks, so I connected with my smaller town on a deeper level.   Through learning about others' experiences, I realized that not only did other people experience some of my struggles, but they also found ways to overcome them.   While this breakthrough represented a significant victory for my personal development, it also opened additional questions. For example, I started to wonder : Why were people in larger cities more reclusive, despite having a disproportionately greater number of options? Why did people who grew up in rural or urban environments tend to stay where they were? Why were the arts more prominent in the city than in smaller towns? Why do people...   As you might imagine, the more stones turned over, the more stones were uncovered under them. What we glean on the surface deceives us, as there are times when we believe there is a root cause that is in plain sight, when in fact it's dozens of layers below.   I realized that the further down this journey I went, the more I disliked incompletes. As one box was checked, three more appeared to take its place. The math wasn't zeroing out, as I was locked into a perpetual cycle that kept amplifying worse than audio feedback on a stage. Suddenly, new questions appeared on top of that: How does anyone bring full closure to their incompletes when the end of one question leads to opening five more?  Does the pattern ever end, or is it a perpetual result of endless personal development expeditions? Naturally, none of us can take on everything.  We must prioritize our choices in personal development, which are determined by our current unique circumstances.  Generally, we tend to select the actions that we perceive to yield the greatest reward for the least effort.  However, this thinking leads us to chase shiny toys that bring short-term satisfaction, but not long-term progress.    From my journey, it became clear that I needed to find a way to track my progress, actions taken, and results experienced. Keeping track of everything in my head was more of a fool’s errand than I initially expected.    My Tipping Point In Personal Development    From my journey, I had to recognize that my final destination was no more than a waypoint for the next step of the journey. By crossing these milestones, new opportunities unfold before me, unlike video games, which are programmed to end when the final boss is defeated. Schools have their own experience, similar to games. The journey is well-defined, and the tests and final projects represent the bosses in games. Unlike school, repeating certain lessons is required for full understanding and benefit. Progress no longer has a linear path but rather a unique, unrepeatable journey for any two people.    I recognized that personal development was not like the games I played and the school systems I experienced. This created a paradigm shift in my journey. When I started, I approached the journey as a one-and-done ordeal, believing that my life would magically transition to a wonderland where my problems would be dissolved. As anyone on this journey would tell you, that is never the case. The only thing that happens in personal development is that we trade one set of problems for another through the results of our actions.    However, components from school systems and the games we play can be transferred to manage ourselves better. In games, we sometimes have opportunities to save and return to our progress. The same is true in our own personal development journeys. Unforeseen circumstances may shuffle our priorities, but if we document where we left off, it should be easy to resume our journey as time permits. In the school system, we are taught to take notes and document concepts. While the concepts we come across may not be interesting to us at the time, we can still document aspects of our personal development journey to see how far along we've come. Our minds open up to handle major pursuits better when we document the details for our reference. Our minds were meant to be processors and not necessarily hard drives.   How To Manage Uncertainty In Personal Development    As we’ve discovered along the way, personal development requires us to shoulder colossal amounts of uncertainty. Uncertainty is not necessarily a bad thing, just as certainty is not always a good thing. We love surprises and hate predicting our own failures. We will have seasons where we are on cloud nine and others where we’re in the trenches of a mental war zone. Schools and games usually do not prepare us to face these challenges.   Luckily, we have some great tactics to deal with the unknown, although we must acknowledge they never guarantee outcomes.  However, having tools in the toolbox beats flailing in the dark when there are many moving parts to the journey.   As you consider these tactics, keep in mind that other tools exist beyond what's listed. Don't approach these tools in their singularity; feel free to combine them depending on your situation. For now, here are some starting points that you can consider for your journey ahead:    Understand Your Journey Is Multidimensional    There is no one-size-fits-all approach to personal development.  Part of life is recognizing that things you worked on and mastered at one point might require further attention down the road.  Even in school, there is no one-size-fits-all style to learning, but unfortunately, the system operates as if that's true.    There’s a stigma that once you’ve conquered an obstacle, it should be conquered for life.  Nothing can be further from the truth; that is a fairy tale used to make us believe there's an end to it all, which contradicts reality.   Therefore, we must acknowledge that our progress will sometimes be nonlinear and murky. It's more important to remember this when it appears that we’re going downhill, when in reality, we're passing through a valley on the way up to a better view. After all, no rainbows can be created without rain.   Document Your Journey    Documenting our journeys may slow us down, but it enables us to go further than ever before. Whether you create videos of yourself talking into them, keep a journal, or record your own data in a spreadsheet, you need to document and visualize your progress.    In the times of highest struggle, you will look back on times when you were on top of everything, fighting your most significant battles and everything in between.  These pieces of documentation will remind you that this, too, shall pass. There are so many easy ways to document our journeys. We do not have to make them public either, but they should enable us to see how far we've come along. This is why it's called personal development... because it's personal.   Learn From Others’ Journeys    Our struggles in personal development are not as isolated as we expect.  Even though everyone’s journeys will be unique in their timeline and intricacies, overarching patterns and trends can be distilled to relate to the struggles of others.   As such, the chances that someone else has faced similar challenges are historically quite high.  As scary as it sounds, simply conversing with a professional or someone we trust is the best way to confirm that our struggles are similar.   Thanks to the Internet, the 21st century has enabled access to information like never before. Websites allow users to communicate with each other without having a face. This level of masking enables people to share their problems more openly. Great examples of platforms that are anonymous include Reddit.   Search engines such as Google, Bing, and DuckDuckGo allow users to research their problems and return instant results.  These search engines have specialized algorithms that filter and return results based on what the user inputs, increasing the chances of a close match.   With the advent of AI, resources such as ChatGPT, Google Bard, and other AI platforms can take a conversational approach to listening to a user’s problems and giving suggestions on how to handle them. While the quality may indeed vary, it combines the best of two worlds: being able to have a conversation from the comfort of a device that has internet connectivity, to a robot that (hopefully) doesn't judge us.   Additionally, social networks such as Facebook and Nextdoor allow users to join specific groups where they may share their problems. However, the quality of these groups can vary drastically, so you should research before taking the advice given by users on these platforms.    Research, Research, Research    As we discovered in the previous section, doing our own research is important. We can do this by talking to people, reviewing online resources, and even reading books. The chances that somebody has encountered our situation are quite high, even though some details might differ.   However, we must be careful about falling in love with the first solution we discover because we want to latch onto a solution. We must be mindful while scouting candidate solutions to our problems and look at different resources. This is similar to dating or interviewing at different companies. We don't want to take the first thing that comes our way because it lands in our laps. Shopping around for solutions is important! I have a principle I leverage when looking for solutions: The Law of Fives. To ensure that I’ve done enough research, I consider five solutions and assemble a new solution that best fits me from the constituents of each.  Five resources are enough to find overlap without overdoing it, without falling into paralysis by analysis.  Some situations call for more consideration beyond five sources, such as major life-or-death situations, career transitions, moving across the country, and other dramatic shifts in life. Others may need a quicker solution that can be molded as the journey continues.   Consulting several different resources allows us to approach our situation more objectively to prevent headstrong decisions based on the first thing we see, which risks being more damaging than beneficial.   Understand You May Not Be Able To Resolve Everything... Right Now   Despite all the information, people, AI, and advancements in civilization, we must recognize that it's not feasible to solve every problem we encounter in our personal development journey. And here's the thing... that's okay.   Problems and solutions must coexist just as light and darkness coexist. As problems appear, we develop solutions to overcome them, only for new problems to arise. Our old solutions hit a wall, and we have to refine them and continue working on them day in and day out.    However, one constraint we all face is time.  With only 16 hours in the average waking day, we must prioritize what problems we have to solve.  Additionally, our resources, attention span, and personal energy have a ceiling to them, so prioritizing their utilization is important to solving the right problems. As a result, we must ignore other problems to fully focus on what actions make the most headway.    Sometimes, the problems we prioritize cannot be solved head-on, and that’s another reality we must acknowledge.  However, it doesn’t mean we should sit idly and do nothing.  Instead, an indirect route might be our best bet. It will require more resources, but it will eventually get the job done. Some problems are long-term, while others are quick and easy. Knowing the magnitude of our problems and what is required to resolve them is key to giving them the appropriate treatment.   Everyone’s Journey Will Be Unique    Personal development is a unique journey where everybody starts with different initial conditions, take unique paths, and have develop distinct methods of solving problems. As we get deeper and deeper into the path, we must recognize that there will be things we cannot foresee along the way. Therefore, it’s not only important to plan our journey, but we must recognize that our plans must be malleable and become resilient.   Our journeys are unique, but that doesn't mean we must go alone. There are many great resources, such as people, books, the Internet, and other resources, to develop our skills and thinking to overcome similar challenges. Even with all the resources at our fingertips, there will be times when we cannot overcome our current problems, at least not immediately. As we are stalled, we have two choices: either give up or try new routes. Oftentimes, the best solution is not dressed in an elegant tuxedo or pretty dress.   No matter how long we've been on the path, it's possible to face uncertainty and murkiness at new stages. Recognizing that we cannot become void of all problems in our lives is important when choosing how we get better. After all, if we don’t train at the gym, our muscles will atrophy.   This question is the cornerstone of our journey: Do we get to choose our problems, or do our problems choose us? The Stoics know that the obstacle is the way. While we will never have 100% control over what problems we face, the more work we put into our journeys upfront, the higher the probability that we will get to choose them along the way. It's time to continue our journeys equipped with new tools and reminders. Make those breakthroughs, challenge assumptions, take a detour, and make the most of the tools available. The solution may not be instantaneous, but rather, the unfolding of a lotus flower.

At the beginning of our careers, we are unlikely to have many connections, so the value we bring to the market is through our knowledge and skills.  Therefore, we may embark on our journey through a few possible routes:    Go to school, get a degree in a valuable field, then get paid doing work in that field,  Train rigorously in a skillset through obtaining certifications, building a portfolio, and showcasing that skillset as proof of concept,  Invent a solution, perfect it, and take it to the market.    Sound familiar?    If you’re like me and love to work on your craft with your hands, head, and heart, then you know the pride you feel when you see the fruits of your labor.   While leveling up our skills and knowledge may not be glamorous, the rewards of increased creativity, confidence, and performance efficiencies pay off handsomely.    But what is our purpose in upgrading our skills? For a pure-minded disciplinarian, it is to improve and create different and better results. For those looking to make a living from it, we desire to secure a competitive edge that makes clients choose us over the competition in a dynamic market environment.    The market demands the best talent, or so we’re always told. However, those considered the best today may become obsolete or irrelevant tomorrow. Also, a complete nobody today may catapult themselves to stardom and appear as an overnight success.    So why don’t skills always pay the bills? Great entertainers can end up on the streets, while dull paper pushers live lavish lifestyles. Something seems amiss. Three Major Misconceptions About Skills There are three major misconceptions about skills and how they are rewarded:    – 1 – If I Master This In-Demand Skill, Then People Will Pay Me Automatically.    This misconception is nothing short of wishful thinking infused with entitlement. While it’s true that those who master in-demand skills are much more likely to secure work and receive excellent compensation, it is never guaranteed.    We must recognize that the market does not operate with perfect information, and supply and demand are seldom in perfect equilibrium.  These imbalances stem from technological disruptions, changes in macroeconomic policies, shifting cultural values, and the nature of market corrections often lagging behind current information.    Additionally, not all buyers value skills equally.  As a result, laborers in any given skill are compensated at levels above, within, and below the fair market value.  Most laborers land in the middle of that curve, whereas the rest deviate above and below.    Skilled laborers who enjoy the splendors of their lavish compensation know how to sell themselves at premiums and/or provide value that goes above and beyond average expectations.  Higher earners in a skillset often secure accounts with clients willing and able to pay higher premiums in exchange for excellent service and a lower risk of supplier disruption.    In contrast, some in the marketplace are well-known for lowballing laborers because they perceive them as desperate enough to take the first offer.  Whether they are small businesses run by stingy business owners or large corporations that hire an expendable army, these buyers pay below-market premiums.  What they save in money, they pay for in reputation. These lowballers save money short-term but spend more to replenish their disenchanted workforce. I wonder why...   – 2 – There Is An Objective Way To Measure Someone’s Skills & Abilities.    Most people know this isn’t true, but it needs to be in clear-cut writing. The belief that a performer’s abilities can be objectively evaluated is often skewed by perception and our tendency to extrapolate an ocean of information from a fishbowl of observations.    The old saying, “ All things being equal, people tend to do business with those they like, ” sufficiently debunks this myth. Naturally, any trade has a minimum performance standard to be economically viable. Beyond that threshold, the criteria for selecting a service provider shift from skills and performance to relatability and likability.    Ironically, there are attempts to provide solutions to measure skills and abilities. Many hiring managers have relied on online assessments that measure technical skills and gauge behavioral responses to vet out the best candidates. However, I know from experience on both sides that these assessments have major flaws.    The first major flaw is that a crafty candidate could look up the answers on Google and game the system. Thus, the test transforms from a skills and knowledge assessment to a craftiness and resourcefulness game. These questions are recycled and stored in a database somewhere.   The second major flaw is that most tests are administered without context, acting as pure brain teasers that cannot measure a candidate’s ability to contribute positively to the organization. This type of testing contradicts most businesses' gripe that academia is too far removed from business to be useful. The best candidates solve problems they can get their hands on and will adapt to the company’s culture to ensure a great long-term fit. Without context, these tests gauge how the candidate operates in a vacuum at best.    – 3 – The More Skills We Have, The More Value We Bring To The Table.    There is a time and place to widen our skill sets as we prepare for professional transitions. Being able to stretch out and connect the dots is an undervalued skill that can lead to innovations to solve market problems that cannot be approached from a linear mindset.    However, when our newfound abilities fail to deliver, the bet on spreading our wings returns a loss.  The Law of Diminishing Returns  dictates that there is an optimum breadth and depth to our skill sets that we should strive to secure at any point.  Anything beyond the optimal renders a negative return on our investment.    Of course, knowing how to optimize our skills is impossible until we gain proper experience.  If we must choose between undershooting and overshooting, we should aim to overshoot it without question.  Regarding performance and delivery, it’s much easier to scale back than to push harder.      Not only does a slight overshoot prevent us from building skills in a vacuum, but it also ensures that those skills are ready for the outlets they were designed to deliver in the first place.    The Truth: The Most Well-Known Get The Deals    The cruel reality of business is that the most well-known entities often win business over unproven contenders.  Good intentions only go so far when clients risk their money, time, and reputation by doing business with service providers.  Therefore, buyers and sellers must choose how they utilize their resources to obtain the highest returns possible.    We all know about the woes of corporate mediocrity that plague well-established companies. Because of their long-standing reputation, these companies consistently do the same thing instead of innovating a new cutting-edge advantage.     To compete against established service providers, newcomers must be more skill-driven, innovative, and willing to work harder. Additionally, the mystique of being a newcomer grants agility against their behemoth counterparts, which could propel them into new opportunities that established companies cannot touch.   On the other hand, the most well-known tend to leverage their reputation to secure the trust of prospects based on past accomplishments.  Their reputation grants a license to frame their competition as fake, short-term, and other slanders typically used to dishearten new competition.  Their words tend to corner their competition as they pummel them into verbal submission.  Marketing Your Skills More Effectively    We have seen very talented individuals scrape by and barely make ends meet, whereas others are barely economically viable but achieve wild success.  We wonder what went wrong in both cases, as an insatiable marketplace should have relentlessly rewarded the skills we craft.      However, the good news is that if we can master new skills and knowledge, we can transfer those lessons to master our marketing.  Everything involved in successful branding, marketing, and selling ourselves is a learnable skill set that only needs to be mastered to an optimal point to suit our needs.    Before we learn those skills for marketing our services, some underlying psychological principles should be considered:    Acknowledge The Reality That We Need To Market    It’s okay to admit it—working to master our skills and knowledge is an exhausting endeavor by itself. Marketing our skills on top of that feels like a tall order that is completely unnecessary. After all, shouldn’t our time be directed towards relevant endeavors such as delivering great service?    Unfortunately, that’s not how business works. Business is a social game in which we deal with people with finite attention spans who can’t possibly know everything. It’s hard to admit it, but we will never know about thousands of great artists, craftsmen, engineers, and other service-based professionals.    Out of the gate, learning to market and sell our services is equally as important as their delivery and performance, if not more important.  Initially, it’s unlikely that we will be equipped with large budgets, an established reputation, or connections that can provide a steady stream of clients.  Therefore, we must make it a priority to network and market ourselves to the best of our abilities.    In the beginning, we might be excited (or terrified) to meet new people. However, we’ll quickly find out that not everyone needs or likes what we do. This can be disheartening and make us question the value of our work and our marketplace.    As we lose steam, we must regularly remind ourselves that it’s okay to market and get ourselves out there, but it’s crucial for our survival. We have to put in the time in marketing to increase our probability of securing enough sustainable business so that we can focus on improving our services without worry.    Have you ever seen a talented friend give an emphatic announcement on Instagram about their new photography business?  They have great pictures, amazing equipment, and even a personal smile that lights up a room.  Waves of encouragement and excitement pour in as their friends show genuine support through likes and comments.    But after a few weeks pass — crickets.  No one has booked them.  Was their business not meant to be after all?  Of course not.  The proof is in the pudding, but nobody knew about their services because they didn’t market them properly.    We should strive to avoid becoming starving artists by embracing marketing as part of our craft. Ultimately, we should do what it takes to get ourselves out there (and enjoy it along the way) so that we may continue to do what we love while serving the right clients—and ultimately, win.    Don’t Be Afraid To Market Ourselves    Marketing our skills and abilities opens the doors to more opportunities to deliver, get paid, and continue improving our craft.  Everything from creating brand awareness to closing the sale to qualified clients is important to the process.    Talented individuals with incredible skills and abilities often fall for the stigma that if they market themselves, they will scare people off. This mental trap has thwarted many rewarding careers from blooming and terminated many others who had the potential to make an impact.    Instead, we must reframe our marketing from being a chore to acting as a public service that helps clients discover us.  Clients seeking skilled labor services won’t start with a perfect list of people who can assist them.  If they know about us before they need our services, we will be on their shortlist as they ask us for them.       Use Creativity to Our Advantage    Imagine a highly skilled person who says they have Skill X and are looking for work. Their pitch is as short and to the point as the previous sentence. Are we going to feel compelled to hire them? It’s highly unlikely.    Marketing is a creative opportunity to tell a great story that compels people to act.  The most rewarding outcome is crafting a memorable marketing message that grabs attention and gets people asking questions. Of course, the first is getting paid.   Whether we are artists, technicians, or in the people business, deploying creative marketing messages that resonate with people is a great way to leave a lasting impression and secure our place as a cornerstone resource in our communities and the global marketplace.    Keep Our Marketing Messages Relevant    There are endless ways to differentiate and market ourselves against the competition.  However, we have to be mindful of who our messages reach to avoid giving the wrong impression to the wrong client.  Every business has certain types of clients that work better for it than others.    As we market our services, we must consider the nature and impact of our messages to capture the right clients. For example, suppose we’re building an elite tutoring business that serves the needs of affluent clients only. In that case, we don’t want to craft marketing messages about economic viability that attract penny-pinching Karens.    Instead, we must build our message to resonate with the problems of affluent families.  Our messages must target the worries of parents directly, whether it’s to provide academic and mentoring support, free up time for parents to focus on their careers and businesses, or any other needs common to affluent families.    We all speak English, but the English we speak with our clients must match theirs. Identify their problems. Build a solution. Tell them about it, tell them some more, and tell them again. Listen to their needs. Then, ask to work with them.    Skills X Marketing = More Possibilities   Building and optimizing our marketing skills is a rewarding journey where we can uncover new insights to apply to our craft.  Everything from the cradle to the grave in marketing has an application to improve our skillsets and knowledge.    The tipping point is when marketing turns from a game of hunting and killing to farming and cultivating.  When that threshold is broken, resources can be redirected from our marketing efforts to improving our services.  Until we achieve that breakthrough, it’s all about grabbing attention in unconventional ways that make us pop out in the market.    Along the way, we should experiment, keep score of what works, and don’t be afraid to be innovative occasionally, even when business is booming.  Market conditions are ever-shifting — what works today may not work tomorrow.  In corollary, what doesn’t work today could  work tomorrow, but we should be mindful if we’re betting on the waiting game.    What’s your first step to making yourself known in the marketplace?

I know what you're thinking: you want to be able to come to the rescue with last-minute requests.  Nothing puts us in a better light with people than taking on a favor at no expense to the requester.   It's human nature to want to be liked by people and seen as adaptable.  All things being equal, we tend to do business with people we like and respect.   There's nothing wrong with an occasional one or two pro bono projects.  These favors open our horizons into new and exciting territory.   But that's the thing: these favors must have a purpose and be a small part of our activities.   It’s common for skilled professionals to do things for free far too often.  Aspiring software engineers, videographers, digital marketers, writers, and musicians are common victims of the perpetual pro bono game.   They accept request after request while believing one will break them through the threshold to finally turn on cruise control as the money rolls in.  It's disheartening to watch them continue down this path until they realize very late in the game that there is no hidden treasure to doing it for free long-term.   They might make a little money here and there, but forget why they entered that profession.  Something triggers them to reflect on their experiences, only to realize they've created a self-damning reputation as being the free guy.  Then, an emotional torrent rolls in and overcomes them.   Creative happiness becomes stained with bitter resentment as a night-and-day switch is triggered within their attitudes.  They become so scorned and resentful from being taken advantage of that they fanatically commit to dying with their dreams inside them rather than offer another freebie.   Now, these burn-out creatives have aged into a position where they need to work for money by considering the long-term implications of their decisions.  Meanwhile, a new legion of younger people has slowly arisen, desiring to be discovered.  Their youthfulness and pure creativity destroy our relevance.   The aged creative who was taken advantage of feels like a used-up rag doll with nothing but blood, sweat, and tears to show for it. Considerations Before Committing To Any Favor   When we're new to an industry, we're invigorated with fresh energy that became bottled from our schooling.  As we turn our tassels from one side to another, we strongly believe our ideas will finally manifest as we enter the marketplace.   Unlike our seasoned counterparts, we do not have to unlearn obsolete techniques and knowledge that prevent seasoned professionals from adapting.  The caveat is that we do not know the true value of our services, which leads to these seasoned counterparts taking advantage of our creativity and performance.   Out of desperation, we do anything to get our names out there. We want to be known as the professionals who get it done. It's as if there are dues to pay to become known. These dues are an illusion in the game.   As a hyperactive creative in his thirties, I'm here to tell you that you have more options and choices than you think. We have more access to information than ever before. More opportunities exist than we can count, but we must find them.   Don't get me wrong—there are times when doing things pro bono is necessary and rewarding. Volunteering at one-time events to help others or taking on a project that allows us more creative freedom is certainly rewarding. However, I've learned that some askers will take advantage of you repeatedly.  Ultimately, it's up to you to put your foot down and tell them that they’ve drained their bank account.   If there is one thing to remember, it's this:   Free doesn’t pay the bills. Free doesn’t stop debt collectors.  Free doesn’t fix credit scores or stop evictions. Ultimately, free doesn’t lead to freedom.   With these important truths in mind, here are some questions that I wish I had considered before committing to doing countless pro bono projects back in the day:   Will This Enhance Your Portfolio or Reputation?   You should never feel bad about turning a favor into an asset you can leverage later.   When taking on favors, it's wise to consider the value of the favor.  Whether it allows you to create a tangible product, add to your arsenal of stories, or earn brownie points in leaders' eyes, it's important to consider how the favor can serve you later.   The favor should challenge you to try something new, but it should not be so overwhelming that it takes up time that could be used to do paid projects.   What Is The Fair Market Value of This Favor?   Your favors have value. In business, we quantify the value of our services, whether they are at Fair Market Value (FMV) or not.   We should do the same for our favors. The best way to do this is to summarize a list of favors we've done for people. From there, we can Google or use our favorite GPT to find out the FMV of that favor.   Be careful, though. We don’t want to do favors worth their weight in gold when these services should be compensated, and we don’t want to do a bunch of little favors that an administrative assistant is supposed to be hired to do.   (If you're an AA, I sincerely appreciate all the unseen things you do, no matter where you work!)   My rule of thumb is to do favors above my current market value. This allows me to build my portfolio to higher levels and charge accordingly. However, this is not a hard and fast rule.   Is This Favor A Stone, Pebble, Or Sand In Your Jar?   Many teachers use this analogy, but let's refresh.   In our lives, we should fill our jar with the important stones first, then pebbles, and finally sand. As we shake the jar, everything fills the space and settles naturally.   If we reverse it, we risk not being able to fit everything in.   When it comes to favors, we must consider them in the same context. The person asking may want it to be a stone, but that's not their call. You're in charge, and it's up to you to determine its fit in your jar.   If they want you to make it a stone in your life, invite them to sit down and discuss the price. :-)   What’s Your Hard Limit On Favors?   This is the best guardrail we can put up for ourselves. Unlike the others, it can be a conversation we have with ourselves or with a trusted friend or colleague.   When it comes to favors, establishing a ceiling on the number of favors you can do in a season does two things for us.   First, it gives us a reason to say no when people ask for excessive favors.  This is a great guardrail against someone who may have a reputation for asking for tons of freebies.   Second, we become more conscious of what we say yes to. With a hard cap on the number of favors, we become more selective about doing mutually beneficial favors rather than being likable.   Putting a cap on favors prevents us from being taken advantage of and incentivizes us to stop seeking them out for ourselves. People who are givers will sometimes seek to do favors proactively, but now, they should look more to sell themselves so they can continue doing what they love.   Is The Person Asking Known For Fishing For Favors?   The source of the favor is far more important than the nature of the favor itself.  There is a difference between someone who is in a genuine bind and needs a little push versus someone who believes they are a gift to the world and everyone else must work around them.   If someone has a reputation for asking for freebies, it should be your job to stop them. This is especially true if it's a business owner or entrepreneur—who should be MAKING money—who keeps asking for favors.  They should be paying you for a service they need so they can make more themselves.   Perform Favors Strategically   As we close out, there is one last thing to consider:   Getting better at marketing things we've already done might be better than looking for more opportunities to do favors. Perhaps there's something valuable in our stories we haven't considered, and we should leverage that.   Talking to a trusted counselor is the best way to do this. Whether through a mastermind group or over coffee, having somebody else's perspective can help us craft our message to increase the odds of landing those paid projects we need to sustain ourselves.   With pro bono work, we can now perform these favors more mindfully. Instead of saying yes now, we can consider it and respond thoughtfully later. The right people will respect your need to consider it, especially if the favor requires more effort to achieve fruition.   Never underestimate the value of the favors you do for others. What's one thing you can do to market your favors better to get those paid projects? Leave a comment below.

Dad. 1954 – 2024 I know life wasn’t ideal for us.  We were never the richest of rich, but you and Mom always ensured that my brother and I were more well-off.  From a young age, you told me it’s okay to be different from the rest.  As an adult, I see that truth more clearly than ever.   I remember my first memory walking through the woods with you.  It's ironic, but that’s where my love of nature grew.   You were always there as a kind and loving father who supported us in our pursuits. Through every trial and tribulation, you encouraged us to be strong warriors at every step.  Your spirit of adventure was on full display for every road trip and outdoor adventure.   Of course, you had an indoorsy side to yourself, too.  I remember beta-testing Windows 95, playing various computer games, and watching you fix up computers.  You taught me how to become proficient with computers super early, even to the point where I was pulled out of class in elementary school to fix computers back in the 90s.   We may have grown up modestly, but you always provided.  You were smart in paying off the house a decade ahead of schedule and ensuring that we had everything we needed.   And then came the accident that changed everything.   When you underwent an unsuccessful surgery, I remember how the doctors only gave you a year or two to live.  It was as if fate had slapped us for being too different.   A tsunami of uncertainty overtook our household, and suddenly, my brother and I had to grow up fast.  We had to live on a fraction of our income and make hard choices from that point forward.   However, you reminded us to persist in every adversity.  It wasn't the obstacle that defined us.  It was how we handled it.  From that, I learned to channel sorrow into a useful outlet that pushed me to pursue music in high school.   We were all fortunate to have you around for more than 20 years beyond what anyone expected.  Despite being unable to do a lot physically, you always showed us moral support, which shined most by showing Mom true love when she assumed the role of breadwinner for the household.     Despite all the evidence to the contrary in marriage, you and Mom demonstrated that people don’t have to see eye-to-eye on everything as a Buddhist father married to a southern Christian girl to live a loving life.  I see that now growing up as a Buddhist and becoming a Christian in my adult life.   During college, it was relaxing to always come home when I had the chance and join you in the den to listen to some classic rock.  You shared your stories in Vietnam, your expeditions as a geologist, and how you wish you could have pursued more.  However, despite your limitations, you always said you were proud of your sons.   There's nothing like listening to Alice's Restaurant every time I came home to relax, especially around Thanksgiving.   During my final year of college, I faced the greatest adversity from my first failed marriage.  Again, you stepped in and asked me what I would do better next time.   I channeled my rage to pursue a life of meaning and adventure through entrepreneurship on the West Coast.  Though it was difficult and it took several years to finally get started, you always told me you were proud of me for pursuing what was right versus what was easy and pushed me to keep going.   You encouraged me never to settle and to stay authentic at every step of the way, no matter the cost of opportunities I had to give up, such as a lucrative corporate lifestyle or being surrounded by people who made me feel alone.     Because of that, I now have great friends, an amazing wife who loves me the same way you both loved each other, and my own business where I work with students and stakeholders I enjoy, play all the instruments I remember you told me you wish you learned, and capture memories from people and nature to have real material to look back upon.   I remember in 2019 thinking you were going to finally bite the big one, so I came home for two weeks to ask you life’s biggest questions and gain from your wisdom at every step.  I wrote down what you said in my digital notebook, which I reflect on periodically to this day.  I’m fortunate to ask you these questions while you were still on this side of the grass. October 2023 My favorite recent memory is watching the solar eclipse from our back porch on April 8th.  I remember waking up to a cloudy and unlikely day and how you weren’t feeling your best.  As we approached the predicted time of the eclipse, the clouds began to part as if God was smiling upon us for the finale.   Suddenly, you emerged about 2 minutes before it started. The sky darkened, surprising and shocking us all.  I guess you weren’t going to miss this once-in-a-lifetime event either, aye?  Being the scientist and commander you were, you called out the phases as I readied my camera to capture the legendary corona in the sky. Total Solar Eclipse. April 8th, 2024 at 3:17 pm. Meadville, Pennsylvania.   I always knew that whenever I visited home, I had to make peace with the fact that it might be the last time I would see you.  Unfortunately, I was correct this time, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way than witnessing a once-in-a-lifetime event with you from the comfort of our backyard.   Thank you for always encouraging me to level up and pursue better while keeping what’s important in perspective.  Your spirit will carry on every day.  I love you and am thankful for your strength in surpassing everyone’s expectations.  Your spirit of adventure burns bright and will carry forward.    Thank you for everything, Dad.  Rest easy.

We often associate wealth with the size of our bank accounts.  While those with more money have more options, financial figures aren’t the only wealth metric.  Many in developing countries may lack financial prosperity but possess greater happiness, social wealth, and creativity than the average American.   When examining American wealth, it’s essential to consider the factors influencing families and individuals in the lower, middle, or upper classes.  Education, family values, neighborhoods, and proximity to opportunities represent a small pool of influential factors.  Therefore, we will examine the main driving forces in the United States that predict whether someone will become rich or poor. These will mostly be generalizations, as exceptions occur due to influences that cannot be measured directly.  Additionally, it’s best to remember that these factors may not apply globally to other countries.  Correlation Between Poor In Finances & Other Areas    Wealth remains a hot topic due to various factors outside our control.  Many of us focus solely on economic opportunities, such as our income, as a measure of wealth. For those beyond living from paycheck to paycheck, we also consider our savings and investments, which contribute positively to our net worth.   Naturally, accumulating wealth comes with trade-offs. For example, working an hourly job means missing opportunities to socialize, relax, and engage in non-work activities. We also face unintended effects on our physical and mental health, which accumulate over the years.  Economically, these are known as opportunity costs.  The selection of opportunity costs separates the rich from the poor.  People who are emerging in their financial success journeys tend to trade off their time and social wealth to improve their economic situations. In return, they expect to reach a tipping point where they can regain or replace what they sacrificed with something better. Usually, this is called retirement, but others call it financial freedom.  However, affluent individuals are less sensitive to financial impact.  While they may also trade their time, they focus on generating other forms of wealth, including their skill sets, professional networks, businesses, creativity, and good physical health.    On the other hand, people in poverty often sacrifice much more to obtain what they desire.  Generally, the less affluent strongly believe that time is money and make that their primary focus to survive.  As such, they don’t have time to pursue other aspects of life as their best physical and mental energies are spent living paycheck to paycheck.  If everyone knows that there are many paths to success, why do those in poverty get stuck in cycles?  Most have access to the same tools as everyone else: supercomputers in their pockets, opportunities to connect with others, access to great resources on the web, and much more.  Despite all that’s available, very few break the cycles.  If available opportunities aren’t the reason, what is?    Signs of Poor Overall Wealth    While these are good indicators, individual signs of struggling with personal wealth differ. No single metric indicates an individual’s poor overall wealth, but these major driving forces have been shown to influence them greatly.  The key is to observe whether these signs appear and how they compare.  1 – Always Complaining, But Never Taking Action   This sign represents a universal norm for most functional adults. As previously established, we are fully responsible for our own outcomes, regardless of whether we are at fault for them.  When facing a long-term issue, it’s a different story if someone is in a situation but takes the gradual, necessary steps to overcome it.  After all, major problems and challenges don’t disappear overnight.   However, if someone is unhappy with their situation, they must take full responsibility to make the desired changes.  Additionally, they must build resilience and a thick skin to fight through obstacles that may keep them there.  Complaining signals that others assume responsibility, undermining personal accountability and efforts to find solutions.  Most complainers favor an audience over action, trapping themselves in a cycle that obstructs meaningful change.  2 – Telling The Same Old Stories   Have you ever been around someone who tells the same old stories repeatedly?  It creates a dull and dreary atmosphere as you anticipate them bringing it up again like a broken record.  When someone consistently relies on the same story over time, it typically suggests a lack of creativity.  This behavior often reflects an attachment to the past and a reluctance to embrace new opportunities.  While sharing the most vivid and meaningful highlights of our lives is understandable, we generally prefer to hear current updates to keep relationships fresh.  3 – Blaming The Government For Their Problems This behavior is often the most unambiguous indication that someone is facing financial difficulties. They’ve lost all hope of improving their lives, so they blame the government for their problems!   Regrettably, life is filled with unpleasant tasks, such as paying taxes, obeying traffic laws, serving on a jury, and many others. Nevertheless, most laws in America are created in the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness.   What these rights don’t do is hand them over on a silver platter!   Never have enough money? Seek ways to earn more.  Displeased with your elected officials? Vote and inspire others to do the same.  Not fond of the new park added to the neighborhood? Take suitable action.     Passivity rarely brings about our desired results.   4 – Not Believing In Their Own Creativity   This sign can be challenging to detect, as creativity is often invisible to everyone except artists. However, to succeed in any field, applying creativity within a relevant and practical context is crucial for achieving breakthroughs and a sense of meaningful accomplishment.  Everyone is born with the capacity for creativity, but we often lose it over time. When we face rejection in our work, we tend to scale back our creative aspirations as a coping mechanism to fit in better. Consequently, creativity is frequently perceived as risky; the more we encounter rejection, the less likely we are to incorporate it into our next significant idea.  Those who experience ongoing and/or significant rejection may believe creativity is limited to a select few. In truth, we all possess the ability to be creative, although it often diminishes as our imaginations confront reality.   Consequently, those who give up their creativity often conform to the crowd, adopting a herd mentality in their approach to life. Years pass by in a blur, leading them to accumulate regret after regret for not utilizing their creativity to take more risks.   5 – Afraid of Change or Unable to Adapt   Individuals who fear change often go to great lengths to remain precisely where they are, regardless of whether they need to change to improve their quality of life.  They cling to old adages, possessions, and habits that keep them locked into the same situation.  People unwilling to adapt to the changes around them have not developed mental resilience. Although it can be challenging, struggling to accept and adapt to changes is a clear sign that we are more likely to spin our tires and go nowhere.  Change is an inevitable part of life, after all.  In the early 1990s, we hardly had any computers in the workplace.  People discovered the power of the internet in the 2000s.  Social networks became commonplace in the 2010s.  Now, AI is here to stay.  Who knows what will come next, but one thing is for sure: those who refuse to adapt will be isolated and left behind.  How To Leave The Poor Crowd   It is difficult to leave those we care about, but there are valid reasons to distance ourselves from poor people.  Some reasons may make us worse off, so we must evaluate our circumstances and consider the trade-offs carefully before making a decision.  1 – Evaluate Why You Are In The Crowd  We all have relationships for a reason. For some of us, these relationships include people introduced by our teachers, parents, and others in our immediate families whom we do not choose. In other cases, our neighborhoods may attract certain types of residents.  Friendships or alliances are formed when both parties perceive a benefit. For some, this might be simply someone to joke with, go on adventures with, vent to, or seek advice from. For others, alliances are strictly transactional and only function when both parties profit.  We can assume that we are not at fault for our situation.  However, it is our responsibility to change it.  To understand how we have reached this point, we must ask: What brought us here, and where do we go from here?   2 – Ask If You're Benefiting Long-Term From This Crowd  As mentioned earlier, there is a perceived benefit to every alliance or friendship we establish.  The real question is: Is the benefit indeed what we think it is?  When we reflect on our alliances, we must be brutally honest about their mutual benefits. Ultimately, we must ask ourselves: Is this alliance symbiotic or parasitic?  Another way to consider it is: Do my alliances provide Band-Aids to problems or growth and transformation? Band-Aids are temporary and mask problems, while transformation endures. Understanding the difference is essential in deciding whether to maintain current partnerships or let them go.  3 – Find New People  If our situation isn’t what we desire, we must find a different tribe.  This doesn't mean that our old friends lack value. Instead, we recognize that to discover new opportunities, we must open new doors.  When we establish new alliances, they should be mutually beneficial by providing value in exchange for new opportunities.  To achieve this, we need to research and ask about our new alliances.  Dale Carnegie's timeless classic, “ How to Win Friends and Influence People”, provides enduring advice: It is easier to make more friends in two weeks by taking an interest in them than in two months by merely talking about us.  Thus, any partnership we establish should focus more on them and less on us. This paradox seems backward at first, but the more we invest in other people, the more they invest in us. Additionally, it allows us to listen to others talk about themselves so we can decide whether these partnerships are what we seek.  Lastly, we must recognize that there's no guarantee that new connections will work out. Some individuals are paranoid and assume the worst about everyone who tries to reach out to them. Proving them wrong can be a worthwhile challenge in some cases, but it's not worth the time in others.   Ultimately, we should lean on our intuition to decide whom we associate with.  4 – Plan Your Breakup  Planning breakups with dead alliances is crucial to feeling in control of our destiny.  It's wise to wait until we have trustworthy new alliances before severing ties with associates who do not provide a mutually beneficial partnership.  As we plan our breakups, we must consider how the other person will respond. We need to understand their typical reactions and decide whether to engage in honest conversations or ignore them completely.   While ghosting someone may not be fair, there are valid reasons.  Former alliances with those who lack emotional intelligence may represent the risk of an unhinged reaction, which could put us at physical, mental, or social risk.  In these cases, it is best to let time fade them out instead of confronting them directly.  When contemplating the best way to sever connections with these individuals, it is beneficial to have at least one person we trust to discuss such matters.  For optimal results, refrain from mentioning names unless absolutely necessary. Engage in the conversation and listen to suggestions that increase the probability of an amicable separation.  5 – Say Goodbye Appropriately   We must plan our breakups according to the individual involved.  Due to personality differences, the best way to say goodbye to one person may not be appropriate for another. Therefore, we must be mindful of how we approach this situation.  For some individuals, it's best to communicate in person to ensure direct eye contact. There's no need to be harsh, but being firm and confident when delivering the news is essential.  It may be hard for them, but who knows... it might change them for the better.  In situations where confrontation may not be best due to emotional instability, ghosting a former alliance is usually the best option. As mentioned previously, this is the best approach when confronting someone who represents serious physical, mental, and social risks.  Either way, we must remind ourselves that we don’t owe anyone an explanation. We are all responsible for our well-being, and securing our oxygen masks first is vital to changing the trajectory of our overall wealth.  Enter New Riches Beyond Material Wealth  Everyone accumulates wealth through their choices and responses to their circumstances.  While luck may play a factor in some cases, we must actively work towards improving our situations.  Changing someone else's circumstances is challenging if they lack internal motivation.  When left to their own devices, most people tend to maintain the status quo, regardless of the potential benefits that change might bring. We need to recognize who is who and decide how to interact with people moving forward.  The best way to break the cycle of holistic poverty is to change our social circle. If the people in our circle do not inspire us, we don’t have a circle; we have a cage.  We must find the key and unlock ourselves by cultivating new relationships when we find ourselves in a cage.  As we make difficult decisions to improve our lives, we must remain humble and kind. Some people will respect our choices, while others may resent them. Focusing on those who offer support is the best way to enhance our social wealth.  What's your first step to entering new riches? Comment below!

One thing I didn’t mention in Five Unconventional Items I Lean On As A Freelancer is how cool it is to be able to equip yourself for your freelance journey. While it’s true that there’s upfront money to be paid, there’s something to be said for using equipment that you own for yourself. Outside of the tax write-offs, it feels amazing to choose your own equipment and not settle for what somebody else gave you. When I worked as an engineer, I was lucky if I got anything that was worthwhile, but I always had to make do with what I had. Now, I get to work with equipment that meets my standards, which makes me appreciate what I have more today.   Five More Unconventional Items Here are five more unconventional items that I use in my day-to-day operations. Some of these items are more specialized for certain tasks, but they are useful.   HP Prime Graphing Calculator  When we think of calculators, it’s easy to think about our high school or college days in math classes. Back in college, I used the TI-89 Titanium for all of my engineering classes, and I thought it was one of the best calculators out there. However, after college, I found the HP Prime on Amazon. After using it once, I’ve never wanted to use a different calculator. Here's why: First, this calculator is lightning-fast. I’ve run speed tests with it against TI and Casio calculators, and the competition doesn’t come close to the HP Prime. This thing is built like a computer, which Hewlett-Packard is known for anyway. Second, this is touchscreen-enabled. It feels like a smartphone, minus the distractions. Its sleek design fits easily in my pocket and is similar in thickness to one of my smartphones. I couldn't tell you how many times I've wanted to zoom in on a graph and had to fumble with a calculator to do so. Third, the display is gorgeous. The colors it renders in 2D and 3D graphing are astounding. It’s the only calculator on the market that can now go into dark mode. Now that I’m done geeking out, where does this calculator come into my freelance work? It helps me in two fundamental ways. First, I bring this calculator to all math tutoring sessions when working with students and mathematics. Using the built-in solvers, I use the calculator's computational speed to solve problems before other students do. Since it's approved in AP-level math classes, most of my students convert to the HP Prime camp when they graduate from using a scientific calculator. Additionally, it hammers out mathematical models and analyzes small datasets on a device that enables focus. Once I'm satisfied, I take these ideas to a real computer to do the heavy lifting. If you’re a numbers kind of guy or gal, your investment in this calculator will not disappoint!   Gerber Shard  Something is amazing about having a multitool on you. It’s even more extraordinary when it’s on your keychain and can be used daily. The Gerber Shard is a versatile piece of metal that can be used as a: Bottle opener, Mini-pryer, Phillips screwdriver, Flathead screwdriver, ...and more. Its usefulness makes it so that I cannot feel good leaving home without it. I have used this multitool for more creative uses as well, such as removing staples, cleaning out gunk in my woodwind instruments, and more. Note: If you fly anywhere, put this in your checked luggage. M-Wave MIDI Keyboard As a freelancer, you want reliable tools that document your ideas wherever you are. When it comes to music, having a good MIDI keyboard can make creativity more accessible, no matter where you're at. I originally bought this MIDI keyboard, thinking it would be suitable as a Bluetooth-enabled device. Unfortunately, it did not deliver on its Bluetooth promises. However, it’s the only mini keyboard I’ve seen with a USB-C port, reducing the number of cables I need to take with me daily. My students enjoy hearing new beats made on the spot while they’re doing homework. Using a USB-C to USB-C cable, I simply connect to my iPad while I’m running sessions with students, and I’ll loop some beats to get them fired up and focused.   The Enerwow All-Day Charging Brick In the previous post, I introduced a charging station that recharged my electronics throughout the day. It is a powerhouse that can charge anything from smartphones to laptops. However, sometimes I don’t need a bulky battery. Is it possible to get the same energy from a more dense item? Absolutely. The Enerwow Charging Brick is perfect for days when I only need to take my iPad with me. It has 50,000 mAh of juice and can charge my electronics at 30 W. On one charge, I can recharge my iPad to full capacity several times during the day. It doubles the EngineStar Portable Battery discussed in my last post on heavier days. iClever Folding Keyboard This iClever Folding Keyboard has made pocket productivity possible. Sometimes, I don’t even want to take a book bag with me, so it makes up a lightweight unit alongside a folding phone stand. This keyboard can be paired with three separate devices. I have an Android and an iPhone, and this keyboard pairs with both without issues. The trackpad is the icing on the cake for extra functionality. Ergonomically, I feel this folding keyboard is probably one of the best you can buy. The keys are spaced out in the same way as a normal keyboard, which is sometimes a point of compromise with other keyboards. Additionally, I can use this keyboard for two months on a single charge.   Unconventional Items Tell Great Stories   There’s a wide range of unconventional items available on Amazon and other e-commerce businesses. These items I've showcased work well for me, but there's always more gear out there that can elevate my freelance game. Do you have any unconventional items that you use in your day-to-day operations? Leave a comment below.

Working as a freelancer presents its own perks and challenges. Most successful freelancers know they cannot treat their venture as a regular 9-to-5, so preparing for long and irregular hours is critical to enjoying the journey.     However, a major piece of the puzzle is overlooked when defining what makes a successful freelancer: How to equip ourselves. Our selection of equipment determines the ceiling of our effectiveness. Mindset is also critical in freelancing, especially in hard times. However, the equipment used in our ventures must be carefully selected. Since freelancing is an unconventional path, we must use unconventional equipment to get us through our abnormal days.     My Five Unconventional Items   Here are five pieces of unconventional equipment that have made a difference in my freelance journey. Remember that everyone has different needs, and what works for my ventures may not work for yours. However, you may spur some new ideas from my list. Please note that none of these items are sponsored; I picked them because I truly got more value from them than I paid.   Mobile Charging Station  Most of my work is created, refined, and delivered electronically. Naturally, using computers is not optional. I have great electronics at my disposal, but a single charge will not get my most power-hungry devices through the day.   Unfortunately, I've encountered a repeating bottleneck with my electronics: lack of access to outlets. Most coffee shops and libraries already have other users swarming around available outlets. Additionally, these places do not permit the use of extension cords because they are tripping hazards.     To counter these problems, I use an EnginStar Portable Power Station to provide my own outlets. This lightweight battery has saved me hours from hunting down outlets and expanded my ability to work outside in parks to enjoy some fresh air.   This power station provides juice for an entire day. I can plug a brick into the direct outlet or one of the charging ports for smaller electronics. Both sources can be used simultaneously when multiple devices need to be charged. This power station was also built for survivalists. If the lights go out around me, the back is equipped with a survival LED. Occasionally, I even use this light to remove shadows in photoshoots. When I return home after a long time, I plug it into my wall outlet and let it charge overnight so it is ready for the next day.   Adjustable Tablet Stand  Working on electronics is difficult on our necks. Built-in keyboards in laptops and compatible keyboards with tablets are useful, but don't address long-term ergonomic challenges.     This is where a good old-fashioned tablet stand comes in. The LISEN tablet elevates my 12.9" iPad Pro to an optimal height for my neck. Not only does it make working on projects easier, but it also makes the camera angle far more flattering during video calls. Additionally, it can be oriented in portrait or landscape mode. This allows me to work in the best orientation for my work. I prefer to work on writing projects in portrait mode while editing photos in landscape mode.   Tablets aren't the only thing this stand can hold. Smartphones and calculators easily fit in the jaws of this stand. When I use my phone for a video call, I put it on this stand while using my tablet to take notes, make edits, or conduct research.   Tablet stands are best paired with Bluetooth devices such as keyboards, mice, and trackpads. Ziploc Bags When we think of Ziploc bags, we normally think of them as ways to store snacks and other food items. Their use is usually singular since food tends to leave residue inside the bags.   Outside of food storage, Ziploc bags are a cheap tool for organizing items into more easily accessible departments. I pack what I need for the day into smaller bags and then compartmentalize all the smaller bags into larger bags. This way, when I’m looking for an item, I pull out the bag instead of fumbling around in my backpack.   Additionally, Ziploc bags provide a layer of weatherproofing in the event of surprise rain. My backpack might get soaked, but my electronics are shielded against water. This strategy is also great for folders with important papers.     Pocket Notebook Even in the digital age, there is something zenful about using a little pocket notebook with a pen. As the name suggests, it goes in a pocket and can be taken out at nearly any time to take a note or two.     Despite electronics' advantages, such as storing mountains of ideas, a little pocket notebook unlocks something that appears to be at a premium these days—focus. We live in a time when our attention is divided among many different ideas, people, and sources of entertainment. Consequently, these little things siphon attention from important matters. When you open a notebook, all those distractions fade away as you pour your thoughts onto the paper. Filling a blank page with your own thoughts and ideas is a thrill that cannot be paralleled on electronic devices.   Some things are timeless, and writing in a little notebook will always be one of them. With important ideas, developing muscle memory burns them deeper into our psyche, unlocking more creative juices and ownership of the idea before ramping up for digital production.   Wheeled Suitcase When we think of suitcases, we usually think of going to the airport or driving long distances. However, how often do we actually use our suitcases? Could suitcases be meant for more than traveling on our chosen airline?     Instead of letting my suitcase collect dust between flights, I employ it as a mobile storage bunker in my vehicle. A suitcase is handy for properly packing and sealing all of my important items for the week. I've fit multiple items in the suitcase each week, which makes it easy to ensure everything is ready to go, including backpacks, camera bags, dry food containers, and totes for grocery shopping. However, care must be exercised when turning the suitcase from horizontal to vertical. I strongly recommend using some cheap blankets as padding to secure items in place.   When I park my vehicle far away from my destination, having a wheeled suitcase makes transporting materials manageable compared to hauling everything in a backpack.   Unconventional Items Produce Remarkable Results   These items were acquired and deployed in response to daily issues while freelancing. While most items can be acquired on Amazon, I strongly recommend checking out things in a brick-and-mortar shop to ensure they best suit your needs. There's nothing wrong with using a couple of unconventional items to get through our long days. After all, who is going to remember? Even if they remember, they may wish they had done the same thing. What unconventional items are your go-to in your day-to-day? Leave a comment below!

Hands down, the 2024 Great Eclipse was a top-five epic experience. Not only was it my first time witnessing a total eclipse, but I also had a front-row seat in the backyard of the house where I grew up in Meadville, Pennsylvania.   My first eclipse experience was in 2017 while living in Portland, Oregon.  Unfortunately, I was outside the path of totality and only got coverage around 99.5%. It reminded me of an old saying – 99% is an itch, while 100% is a breeze.   Little did I know how right I was. While seeing the sun covered to a sliver and the crescent-shaped shadows it produced was cool, there was something epic about full-on totality. Images of totality on social media in 2017 burned in my mind as an otherworld experience that required my own commitment to seeing it with my own eyes.   As soon as I discovered that the next total eclipse was predicted over my hometown in 2024, I knew I needed to go.  I had no idea where I would be in life after seven years, but that eclipse was always on the horizon in my mind, year after year.   In early April, I traveled back home to beat the rush.  Growing up within the temperate Great Lakes climate, I knew statistically that the odds were not favorable for good weather, but another total eclipse wasn't predicted to occur for two more decades in the United States, let alone another one over my hometown. I bought plane tickets early and figured, at the very least, it would be good to see my parents.  As the day approached, the forecast was looking surprisingly favorable for showtime.   Luckily, my bet paid off despite the odds.   Game day was overcast, and people around town were murmuring about the potential bust. I knew historically that the sun would probably drill the clouds apart throughout the morning as the temperature continued climbing. We had blue skies around two hours before totality, and I was very optimistic.   However, more clouds from the west rolled in during the hour leading into totality, playing on my emotions.   At first, I enjoyed capturing the partials, but clouds suddenly swept in from the west and darkened the view, rendering my solar filter useless. The optimistic side of me was happy with the partials, but the go-getter wanted nothing more than to capture the prize of totality.   Patient yet anxious, time was ticking ever closer to totality.  As it seemed like the sky was about to have its last laugh, the clouds broke apart and became thinner, parting the curtain of clouds for the big act.   Interestingly enough, the thinned clouds provided excellent texture around the merging celestial bodies as the skies suddenly darkened with a cool breeze that rolled in to chill our minds and bodies. The temperature drop was dramatic as we lost light fast.   And just like when your favorite DJ's beat drops hard at the club, the full-on total eclipse did not disappoint.  As I frantically kept capturing stills, I reminded myself that I needed to take it in and be present to enjoy my prize after my 7-year-long wait.   For nearly four minutes, the moon’s aura danced and flared to entertain the town.  The hoots and howls from the college across the street and the nearby park marked an era that Meadville had never seen.  The sky radiated a mystical twilight around it, where the horizon remained lit while darkness ensued above.    I fully recognize how lucky I was to be in a position to capture an incredible moment. In contrast, my colleagues in Upstate New York were buried under the clouds, preventing them from seeing the celestial entertainment.   Victory! But What Could Be Improved?   As I relished the outcome, I couldn’t help but think about how I could have better prepared for this unforgettable event.   I compared my pictures to others and was pleasantly surprised. Of course, other photographers whose work appeared more profound than what both of my cameras captured.    If there are three things I’d do differently in 2044/2045 (or sooner in another country) to dial it in more, here they are:   1 - Use A Longer Lens   I captured my eclipse shots on a Sony A7R3 with a Tamron 28-200 mm lens.  Naturally, I maxed out my zoom fully to capture the most detail possible during totality.  Using a full-frame camera also meant that my zoom wouldn’t be as pronounced as an APS-C lens, but the quality was far better.   Earlier this year, I was on the fence about acquiring a 150-500 mm lens for this occasion and future use in wildlife photography. After my experience, I would have acquired the lens without question and shot around 350-400 mm, if not at the maximum length possible.   Luckily, the main camera's massive resolution of 42 Megapixels saved my images. Larger camera sensors ensured that my images could be cropped inward without losing much detail.   2 - Shoot Using Aperture Priority   Normally, I shoot using shutter priority when I do starlight photography.  Controlling the exposure time ensures that the least blur is introduced in my photos and reduces noise.   However, the eclipse's totality provided a twilight instead of a full blackout.  This meant more ambient light was available than expected, and my one-second exposures were compressed using a very deep aperture of F/32.  Luckily, the images did not have photonic distortion as they would during the daytime.   Knowing that ambient light would be available next time, I would have fixed my aperture around F/8 to get sharper photos by reducing my shutter speed significantly.   The next improvement would fall more naturally in line by keeping the settings relatively balanced.   3 - Use Metered Shooting For HDR   Metered shooting would have unlocked many more editing options.  For those not into photography, metered shooting is when you shoot 3 images simultaneously: one underexposed (-1 eV), one normally exposed (0 eV), and the last one overexposed (+1 eV).  These images are merged in post-production using HDR.   I know many people say they want to see raw footage of eclipses, which is admirable. However, our cameras do not capture images in the same way human eyes do, which is why post-production is important.    Even if the extremes of exposure didn't turn out well, I would have rather known that was the case than have it as a lingering thought.    Overall, I'm Glad I Captured It   I don't think my pictures turned out badly at all.  The subtle cloud layer over the eclipse added unexpected texture that wasn't captured across the country in the line of totality.     Additionally, the odds weren't favorable for good weather, considering Meadville's historical snow, rain, and overcast forecasts.  I'm sure there are those out there who believed it would be a washout; I almost did, too! Likewise, other areas where everyone swore would be prime viewing spots ended up being a bust.   Fortunately, we beat the odds and secured some great images to enjoy.  My parents enjoyed it in their backyard, alongside my wife and great friends.   The only thing that will be different next time is that I will have the experience to apply to increase my odds of a better outcome. While North America is 20 years from the next total eclipse, I think I can travel internationally and continue capturing one of nature’s most entertaining phenomena.