Thank You For Everything, Dad.

Dad. 1954 – 2024

I know life wasn’t ideal for us.  We were never the richest of rich, but you and Mom always ensured that my brother and I were more well-off.  From a young age, you told me it’s okay to be different from the rest.  As an adult, I see that truth more clearly than ever.

I remember my first memory walking through the woods with you.  It's ironic, but that’s where my love of nature grew.

You were always there as a kind and loving father who supported us in our pursuits. Through every trial and tribulation, you encouraged us to be strong warriors at every step.  Your spirit of adventure was on full display for every road trip and outdoor adventure.

Of course, you had an indoorsy side to yourself, too.  I remember beta-testing Windows 95, playing various computer games, and watching you fix up computers.  You taught me how to become proficient with computers super early, even to the point where I was pulled out of class in elementary school to fix computers back in the 90s.

We may have grown up modestly, but you always provided.  You were smart in paying off the house a decade ahead of schedule and ensuring that we had everything we needed.

And then came the accident that changed everything.

When you underwent an unsuccessful surgery, I remember how the doctors only gave you a year or two to live.  It was as if fate had slapped us for being too different.

A tsunami of uncertainty overtook our household, and suddenly, my brother and I had to grow up fast.  We had to live on a fraction of our income and make hard choices from that point forward.

However, you reminded us to persist in every adversity.  It wasn't the obstacle that defined us.  It was how we handled it.  From that, I learned to channel sorrow into a useful outlet that pushed me to pursue music in high school.

We were all fortunate to have you around for more than 20 years beyond what anyone expected.  Despite being unable to do a lot physically, you always showed us moral support, which shined most by showing Mom true love when she assumed the role of breadwinner for the household.  

Despite all the evidence to the contrary in marriage, you and Mom demonstrated that people don’t have to see eye-to-eye on everything as a Buddhist father married to a southern Christian girl to live a loving life.  I see that now growing up as a Buddhist and becoming a Christian in my adult life.

During college, it was relaxing to always come home when I had the chance and join you in the den to listen to some classic rock.  You shared your stories in Vietnam, your expeditions as a geologist, and how you wish you could have pursued more.  However, despite your limitations, you always said you were proud of your sons.

There's nothing like listening to Alice's Restaurant every time I came home to relax, especially around Thanksgiving.

During my final year of college, I faced the greatest adversity from my first failed marriage.  Again, you stepped in and asked me what I would do better next time.

I channeled my rage to pursue a life of meaning and adventure through entrepreneurship on the West Coast.  Though it was difficult and it took several years to finally get started, you always told me you were proud of me for pursuing what was right versus what was easy and pushed me to keep going.

You encouraged me never to settle and to stay authentic at every step of the way, no matter the cost of opportunities I had to give up, such as a lucrative corporate lifestyle or being surrounded by people who made me feel alone.  

Because of that, I now have great friends, an amazing wife who loves me the same way you both loved each other, and my own business where I work with students and stakeholders I enjoy, play all the instruments I remember you told me you wish you learned, and capture memories from people and nature to have real material to look back upon.

I remember in 2019 thinking you were going to finally bite the big one, so I came home for two weeks to ask you life’s biggest questions and gain from your wisdom at every step.  I wrote down what you said in my digital notebook, which I reflect on periodically to this day.  I’m fortunate to ask you these questions while you were still on this side of the grass.

October 2023

My favorite recent memory is watching the solar eclipse from our back porch on April 8th.  I remember waking up to a cloudy and unlikely day and how you weren’t feeling your best.  As we approached the predicted time of the eclipse, the clouds began to part as if God was smiling upon us for the finale.

Suddenly, you emerged about 2 minutes before it started. The sky darkened, surprising and shocking us all.  I guess you weren’t going to miss this once-in-a-lifetime event either, aye?  Being the scientist and commander you were, you called out the phases as I readied my camera to capture the legendary corona in the sky.

Total Solar Eclipse. April 8th, 2024 at 3:17 pm. Meadville, Pennsylvania.

I always knew that whenever I visited home, I had to make peace with the fact that it might be the last time I would see you.  Unfortunately, I was correct this time, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way than witnessing a once-in-a-lifetime event with you from the comfort of our backyard.

Thank you for always encouraging me to level up and pursue better while keeping what’s important in perspective.  Your spirit will carry on every day.  I love you and am thankful for your strength in surpassing everyone’s expectations.  Your spirit of adventure burns bright and will carry forward. 

Thank you for everything, Dad.  Rest easy.