The Tomorrow We Envision Is Never Guaranteed

In every stage of life, we develop a vision for ourselves as the basis of inspiration towards a better life. Whether that milestone involves a hefty promotion, a move across the country, or pushing the button to start an ambitious endeavor finally, we all have visualized our desired outcome and imagined the incredible feeling of arriving. 

Personal visions aren’t reserved solely for the ambitious.  Even those who aren’t 10x’ing and rereading their goals religiously have some vision for themselves.  The magnitude of their vision doesn’t matter — all that matters is that they have some vision for themselves.   

It may be to achieve a simple and peaceful life, living in a simple home, surrounded by a simple family, and doing simple everyday things that give them some sense of routine and normalcy.  I’m sure we can picture a happy farmer in the Midwest sitting on his porch as the sun rises on a new day. 

On the other hand, the mighty vision may involve putting a dent in the universe by becoming the next billionaire, inventing the cure for cancer, rising as a pop star, winning a prestigious award from a highly revered organization, or a combination thereof.  The thoughts of Olympic athletes, solo artists, and billionaire entrepreneurs come to mind. 

Statistically, we are highly likely to live long lives. This is good news as it means we will encounter many opportunities during our stay here. Therefore, we want to make our lives worthwhile as we venture through the major stages from childhood to retirement. 

However, a high life expectancy doesn’t guarantee how our stories will be written.  The books of our lives may entail a complete and rich saga, whereas others may fall tragically short.  Despite the possibility of an abrupt ending, we can only plan for our lives long-term and be thankful for each page we continue to write for ourselves. 

Doing ABC Never Guarantees XYZ

One of the greatest misfortunes of growing up is that we subliminally absorb the expectation of being rewarded for our actions. While this noble ideology only truly works in full unity, it is a human construct without a backing natural law to heighten the chances of compliance in a structured society. 

In school, we’re taught to sit down, be quiet, and listen carefully to our teachers. We must do what they tell us to do, and if our actions align with their instruction, we are rewarded for it. This cycle repeats itself thousands of times and becomes ingrained in our psyche over the course of a decade. 

According to our experiences, rebels who fail to comply will face the consequences proportional to their disobedience, while those who follow their marching orders strictly will reap the benefits. As a consequence, we expect some shiny reward in exchange for compliance, and it infuriates us when we are devoid of the reward.   

A rebel who is a complete jerk to others and messes up everything might win the lottery, become elected for a prestigious office, secure a major business deal, or catapult their fame sky-high.  These rule-breakers laugh in the face of consequences — often winning through their means and unpredictability as their renegade nature causes friction with conformists. 

Likewise, a stickler who checks all the boxes treats everyone with respect and obeys the rules still risks ending up empty-handed through no fault of their own. Their lack of reward bewilders them.  In the most extreme of cases, rule followers might experience a mental breakdown and reverse their mental polarity on how they see the rules.  

Star Trek’s Captain Jean-Luc Picard summarizes a situation we’ve all experienced firsthand in 16 words: 

“It’s possible to make all the right moves and still lose.  That’s not weakness, that’s life.” 

While Picard’s wisdom may provide reprieve in the lens of reflection, it’s difficult to apply his truth in the heat of the moment.  As soon as our hard-fought efforts miss the mark, the inquisitive dams in our minds break and flood us with questions, including but not limited to:   

• Could we be settling? 

• Were there a few things we missed that we should have done to unlock our desired result? 

• Were we following incorrect information? 

Naturally, it’s easy to lose sight of our current situation while navigating through the gauntlet of “what-ifs” in hopes of rectifying the damage.  However, nothing is more excruciating than fixating on achieving a single result, no matter the cost.  Therefore, it’s important to explore how to change our paradigms of achievement so that we can better retain our sanity. 

This One Trick Will Increase Our Personal Satisfaction

There’s nothing wrong with aspiring to improve the situations that affect us and those we care about.  That internal flame inside us has existed and been passed from generation to generation, modernizing our lives by leading to breakthroughs in social structures and inventions by controlling our environments. 

The key to harnessing our inner flames is changing how we use them to handle deviations in reality against our ideal outcomes. Some of us have a tolerance that can handle the variations that life throws at us. For the rest of us, we hold firm to a vision (almost to a fault) and want to achieve that vision.   

But what if reality unfolds far differently?  How do we respond to it?  There is one major change we need to implement for ourselves:

Instead of aiming for a single outcome, we should open ourselves to a range of acceptable possibilities related to our vision. 

For those with idealistic tendencies who see the world in black and white, this is the hardest paradigm shift we will ever make, but it is the most worthwhile.   

As a former idealist, I once believed that shifting towards accepting a range of possibilities was a form of settling. When I recognized possibilities that ended up better than I imagined, I embraced crafting a range of outcomes going forward. 

This shift in my approach toward achieving my visions led to another realization:

While an ideal outcome may serve as a great starting point, in most situations, achieving results that are close to that vision is all that’s necessary to make progress. 

For example: A sales team aims to close a lucrative business account worth $250,000 for the deal.  However, what is the context and meaning of that $250,000 achievement? Is it possible that closing it for $215,000 will be well within the range of considerable possibilities, especially if it means there’s a higher probability of securing recurring, long-term business? 

Professional negotiators know that both parties will reach their extremes initially to ensure room for navigation toward their required goals.  Therefore, if a sales team attempts to close an account for at least $200,000, they will start the conversation at a higher number (such as $250,000) to ensure they can maneuver and land the minimum target.  

This game of tactics and psychology projects the appearance of making concessions and settling.  While the sales team may act as if they are disappointed in not achieving their desired number during the conversation, they will be elated and celebrate with each other in private once the contracts are signed at the minimum viable number.  

Auditioning in the arts is another example of aiming for various outcomes.  Actors, musicians, and other performing artists may aim high for those lucrative lead roles in every audition, but may end up landing supporting roles.  While their results are not ideal, it is better than a full-on rejection. As a result, they have opportunities to perform and increase their viability for future auditions. 

Other situations include offering an ideal home, landing the best trajectory for business growth, responding to a hostage situation to ensure the best outcome, and much more. Unfortunately, we live in a world of incomplete information and will never truly know the best possible outcome. Thus, maintaining flexibility to adapt to reality helps us become happier and achieve more in the end than if we only act to secure perfection. 

Adjusting Our Dreams For Reality 

Let’s start with a bold premise that needs to be explicit: 

Adapting to reality is not the same as settling for reality.  

When we settle, we give up and allow reality and others to steamroll us in their ways. Settling is the same as tattooing “my influence means nothing” on our backs, as we allow ourselves to be swayed by external whims. 

However, when we adjust our dreams for reality, we become negotiators at the table of reality through our actions and luck.  Being negotiators allows us to converge with reality and slowly shape it into a range of acceptable possibilities related to our desired vision. 

Here are a few things to consider doing to maintain resilience in our continuous negotiations with reality: 

Have A Written Plan

Maintaining a concrete vision in writing is an insurance policy to ensure our vision is viable as the world changes. When life gets chaotic and busy, our vision blurs as we lose sight of our North Star.  Having our plans in writing increases our resilience severalfold in the face of turbulent scenes. 

The written plan doesn’t need to be elaborate; it can be as simple as a catalytic paragraph that inspires and reminds us of what we want and why. Some people are good at keeping their visions down to a single word, whereas others need to describe them vividly.  

Regardless of our camp, having our visions in writing is an easy first step to ensuring that we stay on track.  However, some of us might struggle with writing it down because we don’t know what to say.  Here’s a technique I’ve used to get the ball rolling rapidly: 

Use your device’s speech-to-text feature on your preferred notetaking app. Open a blank page; from there, hit your speech-to-text button and talk it out.  Aim for volume, and DO NOT EDIT, even if the documented words don’t initially match what you said.  Let the words pour out, no matter how incoherent you believe it will sound. 

Read it over and save that note.  Shortly after, open another blank page and do it again.  Repeat the cycle until you say it the way you envision it.  You’ll notice that with practice, you will be very precise in what you say, and it will become more tangible.  Once you’re a few rounds in, if you need to do some final edits to dial it in, go ahead by all means. 

Now you have a starting point.  Keep it handy for what comes next. 

Reread The Plan More Frequently In The Beginning 

It feels incredible when we finally have our visions documented. However, many people make goals (think New Year’s resolutions) and then soon forget them. As a result, these visions become documented and are buried under new notes and dreams instead of being manifested. 

Therefore, it’s important to keep our plan in an accessible spot where we can reread it to reinvigorate us as we adapt to each passing day.  Whenever we document a note, we must ensure we can quickly reach it.  Using reminders and features in the software to keep it pinned and having accountability is crucial to ensuring this step is achieved. 

As we reread it, one of two things will happen: (i) we will embrace our vision and steer more of our daily activities toward its achievement, or (ii) we will rewrite our vision to become clearer and more aligned with what we truly desire. 

Even as our documented vision takes shape and influences our actions, we must revisit it at a frequency that works for us.  Once our vision becomes burned in our memory, our actions will become second nature and in alignment with it, no matter how turbulent the journey becomes. 

Document The Range of Possibilities

This crucial step is the catalyst for our desired paradigm shift.  As progress unfolds, new circumstances and information will reveal themselves, engaging us to make new decisions on handling them in our next steps.   

Now, we need to figure out what’s likely to change due to our new discoveries.  If we stick to the course towards achieving our ideal vision despite new challenges, we risk incurring irreversible costs that will defeat the purpose of our quest.  We must acknowledge — but not necessarily accept — the new circumstances in play. 

Here are some questions to consider that will widen the scope of our possibilities: 

1. At a minimum, what needs to be achieved to be happy with the outcome? 

2. Is the vision I’m trying to achieve truly mine or a pipe dream that someone else projected onto me? 

3. Are there variables that appear influential on the surface but do not influence the final results? 

4. Am I majoring in the minors to stay busy or maintain focus on what counts? 

5. Did I miss the puzzle's initial pieces essential to achieving my vision? 

While these questions are great starting points, we should modify their verbiage and use them to fit the context of our situations to mold the range of possibilities that would bring a sense of accomplishment. 

As we answer these questions, explicitly documenting their answers with the underlying context is paramount to maintaining personal resilience when life throws curveballs at us. 

Revise The Plan Again & Again

Even if we somehow got the details of our vision right from the get-go, our visions should be kept as fresh as possible. Similar to how new seasonings can rejuvenate food we’ve grown complacent about, rewriting the vision with clearer, vivid language provides the spices to revitalize our efforts toward its achievement. 

In bringing our vision to life, the why should remain consistent, but the how is subject to becoming radically different from our initial plans. New disruptors—such as advances in AI—can accelerate our execution in bringing our visions to reality, but we need to embrace and understand how to adapt to them. 

Read The Stories of Others

The stories of others inspire us to know that we’re not struggling alone. Each story starts by elaborating on a situation, the causes of tension and resistance they faced, and ultimately, how they overcame their struggles to achieve their desired vision. This is one of the few principles of human life that is bound to stay as our species continues shaping the world around us. 

The key premise is to read their stories as both believers and doubters. We should believe that they brought their vision to life because that’s something we’re looking to do for ourselves as well. However, we must maintain a healthy skepticism concerning the story's details since people tend to spice up their stories to increase engagement.   

It is statistically impossible for someone to know all the details of the story they are telling today before they experienced it in the past.  Thus, understanding that not everything may have happened is crucial to knowing that your reality will not unfold with fireworks.  However, the fact that they overcame struggles of some kind to achieve their vision is noteworthy. 

Determine The Marginal Returns Gained From Exceeding The Minimum 

As our situations enter a range of possibilities we deem acceptable, our hope and confidence tend to elevate that we can achieve our ideal vision.  The temptations will kick in to inch us closer and closer to clinching the victory we seek.  As a result, we will push the envelope further to see if it’s truly possible. 

We might know of some classic stories of people who were a few steps away from the dream and either pursued it in full or decided it wasn’t for them.  The former decision is more romantic and catchier to those setting out to achieve big goals, while the latter might result in a poor review of a plot line on Rotten Tomatoes.   

When the latter decision is made, it’s easy to assume they quit out of fear of success or simply chickening out. However, as long as we view the story from a third-person perspective, we will never know all of the first-person details that justify ending it then and there. 

The decision to call it a day boils down to the marginal returns from proceeding further. Whether we continue or quit, we must determine whether the perceived marginal returns justify the additional expenses incurred. If the answer is yes, then it’s natural to continue; otherwise, we throw in the towel and accept our result. 

Never Settle, But Remain Flexible 

Remember that expanding the range of possibilities in our visions doesn’t mean settling for second place.  It’s our job to acknowledge that reality exists and adapt to unforeseen circumstances.  Additionally, what one person perceives as the holy grail of their vision might be perceived as a trash yard for another. 

There are painful instances where we can only arrive close enough.  Sometimes, an alternate version of our vision is better in the end.  In rare instances, we can achieve our vision exactly as we first saw it.   

Above all, we must prevent ourselves from remaining stagnant until the perfect time arrives.  Reality is subject to change without notice, and this type of situation is never guaranteed.  Our visions of achievement today are bound to be obsolete a decade from today. 

It’s time for us to think about an outcome we desire and expand our range of possibilities for obtaining it at long last.  What first considerations should we incorporate into expanding the possibilities of our vision?  Start there, branch out, and watch the magic unfold.